


Moondust Will Cover You

by Laika_the_husband (Laika_the_wife)



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Blackmail, Blackouts, Complicated Relationships, Dysphoria, Emotional Hurt, Friendship, Gay Sex, Happy Ending, Institutionalized Violence, Knotting, Lack of Communication, Like A Million Trans Triggers, M/M, Medical Trauma, Secrets, Sexting, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Character, Werewolf Biology, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2020-02-27 20:36:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18746641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laika_the_wife/pseuds/Laika_the_husband
Summary: In this verse werewolves are a thing, and every night of full moon humans simply stay indoors. The coexistence is pretty harmonius.Isak is an alpha, but his body is an omega. Basically, a trans werewolf. Who has a human for a best friend. As if that wasn't complicated enough, one night he meets a guy he's really kind of falling for - but he's an alpha too.I'm intending to make this angsty. Keep watching the tags and notes, thank you.PS. Evak endgame! Figured it out!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm interested in the element of a biological imperative, so expect a lot of dysphoria. I really hope I can pull it off without it becoming social pornography. I'm not playing the "I'm trans so I can write trans however I feel like" card here, and if I fuck up I'm not expecting a free pass.
> 
> This setting is personally important to me, and based on the first chapter, I really like this verse and these characters. If I wouldn't be comfortable with putting myself out there like this, I wouldn't do it. So please share your thoughts, I love my treats!
> 
> Added May 17th: This story will have Isak face violence from medical professionals, regarding his transition. I almost scratched the idea because I should have had *that* tagged from the beginning, but I need to get that out and it fits this story too well to be simply dismissed. I'll mention this in the notes of the chapters it's being addressed in.

“Oh, shit!” Isak hissed and flipped around, much to Jonas’ delight. “Did he see me?”

Jonas peeked over Isak’s shoulder at the man Isak had just been ogling at. The tall blonde guy with piercing eyes and absolutely yummy looking lips, in his ripped jeans and white T-shirt. The image of him had been etched in Isak’s brain.

“Well, at least he saw me.”

“Oh god. Fuck. What do I do? What is he doing?  _ Stop looking at him, _ jesus!”

“Getting a drink from the bar. Wait. Two drinks.”

Isak squeezed his glass as tight as he could without having to worry about it breaking.

“Please tell me he’s with someone.”

Jonas peeked again. Then he shook his head.

“Nope. Just him. And he’s coming this way.”

“Oh shit. Shit. Fuck! Why is he doing that!”

“He’s totally checking out your ass dude.”

Isak blushed. And he had to fight himself so he didn’t do anything weird with his ass, like touch it or something. Jonas was grinning.

“Seems to like what he’s seeing.”

“Stop! You’re supposed to be my best friend!”

Jonas took Isak’s glass from his hand.

“You can thank me later”, he said, with a smirk, turned around and left. Left!

“Hi”, someone said behind Isak’s back. Fuck! It was the hot guy! And he sounded mega hyper hot, and he smelled -- holy fuck.

“Excuse me?”

Shit. He was still there. Or, like, Isak still hadn’t turned around. He didn’t really feel his legs. Except some mild stinging that might or might not be the first symptom of a heart attack.

Before Isak could get his body in control again the man got tired of waiting and walked around him. Isak was sure he was going to go and find someone who was, like, alive, but then the man turned around and was suddenly facing him. He was even hotter up close. Isak could also smell him better. His heart was beating so fast right now.

“Hello?”

The man leaned in a bit closer, tilting his head, his brow raised. Isak blushed. He was looking the man straight in his blue eyes, he had to say something.

Say something!

“Hi.”

“Can I offer you a drink?” The stranger raised the bottles he was holding. He had bought two drinks before even asking if Isak wanted one. Bold. And cocky. Isak reached out and took the drink. It tasted like wet and alcohol. Isak’s sense of taste was mostly gone, thanks to this man and his scent.

“You don’t talk much.”

Isak shook his head and took another sip. He didn’t want to make a fool out of himself, so he spoke as little as possible. It was the safest choice.

“Here.” The man handed his phone over to Isak. Isak took it because he was so surprised and confused. “Give me your number. We can text instead.”

Isak’s hands were sweaty and shaking so bad he was afraid he would drop the phone. He wanted to run away before something would happen. There was only one way he could think of to escape, and before he had thought things through properly he had given this man his number and handed the phone back.

“Isak”, the man said. “I’m Even. Nice to meet you.”

Isak moved his head in a way that could be seen as a nod. His shoulder in a way that might be dancing. Shit.

“Do you dance?”

Isak shook his head. He did not. Especially not tonight.

“There you are!” Jonas barged in almost under the guy’s arm and grabbed Isak’s bottle. “Daddy wants some too.”

Isak stared at his friend. He was slurring a bit, and hung on to Isak in order to stand up. Had someone slipped him something? Isak wrapped his arm around Jonas and looked at Even apologetically.

“You’d better get your friend home. I’ll text you later.”

Isak dragged Jonas with him outside. There Jonas experienced a miracle healing. He stood up and grinned.

“Sorry, man. You started to seem overwhelmed in there.”

“Dick! I was worried about you!”

“I was on a schedule here!”

Isak sighed. Jonas was right. He had been overwhelmed.

“Thanks.”

Jonas started walking down the street with Isak.

“Don’t mention it. I saw you with his phone, did he get your number?”

“Holy fucking shit he did”, Isak sighed. “I mean. I just wanted to run away and my excuse of a brain decided that cooperation was the fastest way out.”

“Don’t worry. It happens.” Jonas pushed his hands in his pockets and glanced at Isak from the corner of his eye. Isak sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“This time for a reason.”

Isak checked the surroundings. Nobody was nearby, so he stopped walking. Jonas stopped, too.

“What is it?” Jonas looked worried. He probably hadn’t seen Isak this agitated in a while. Isak was a bit afraid that Jonas was worrying for a reason.

“He’s a fucking wolf.” Isak sighed. He rubbed his temples. Even was a wolf, and that wasn’t even the worst bit. “And an alpha.”

“Oh, fuck.” Jonas wasn’t happy to hear the news. Of course he wasn’t, he was a good friend. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m fucking sure! I could smell him! Fuck, I almost still can! He’s an alpha and --” Isak had to pause, to calm down, to keep himself from crying just because he was so upset. “I’m sure he can smell me. What I smell like.”

“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry man.” Jonas stepped closer and hugged Isak. Isak wanted to push him away because he was going to cry if Jonas kept hugging him, but he didn’t want to upset Jonas because one of them needed to be not upset right now. Luckily Jonas stepped back quickly.

“What are you going to do now?”

Isak laughed. Because this was so fucking laughable. So stupid, and insane, and wrong, and unfair, and all other things he should have been used to by now.

“Nothing? He’ll find some cute little thing in that club and forget about me.”

“Yeah”, Jonas sighed, “probably. Even I thought he was hot, and I’m not into guys.”

“Exactly.” Isak wiped his eyes and was happy to notice he didn’t really need to. He had some self control left. “Just my luck. Every fucking month the same fucking thing.”

“I’m sorry I dragged you out this close to full moon.”

Isak shrugged.

“It’s okay. I didn’t have to come.”

They both jumped when Isak’s phone beeped. Isak took it from his pocket but didn’t unlock the screen.

“Do you think it’s him?”

Isak sighed.

“I’m sure it’s him. He’s a fucking alpha. This is what alphas do. At least real ones.”

Jonas looked at him sternly.

“Isak. Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“You are every bit as real as that cocky bastard.”

“You know what I mean.”

Jonas shook his head and grabbed Isak’s wrists.

“No. I don’t. And it doesn’t matter what you mean, you’re an alpha.”

Isak bit his lip and turned his face up to the moon. It was almost full. Three more nights. This Even guy had impeccable timing.

“Thanks. It’s just. Hard. This time of month.”

Isak really, really wished it wasn’t. Like all wolves, he loved the full moon with all his heart. But.

“You want to crash at my place until it’s over?”

Isak smiled a bit. Oh, sweet Jonas. He really was a great friend.

“I’m really feeling like a run, actually. I’ll be alright. I know a route where I can be alone. Can’t wait to really run it out.” He could already feel the ground under his paws. And smell the fresh air of the woodland track, see the scenery in the pale light of the full moon. It would be so good.

“I wish I could join you. It sounds really fun.”

“Trust me, Jonas, you don’t want to be outside when the moon is full. It’s. Intense.”

“What if you run into him then?”

Isak shrugged.

“Not much when we’re in form. I can’t resist my --” Isak didn’t want to call it his  _ nature. _ “Biology. I can’t turn it off and when I’m in form I can’t really help it. The blockers only work when I’m human anyway.”

“But what about in the morning?”

“Oh, I’ve outrun him by then. I’m a fast fucker.”

“Oh yeah?” Jonas grinned. “Prove it.”

“What?”

Jonas shoved Isak lightly on the chest and sprinted away. Isak stood still and counted to ten before running after him. The faster he ran the better he was feeling. His senses got keener. His mind felt clearer. He was focusing on his prey, on Jonas’ back, and when he got close enough he pounced. Jonas caught him and kept running, carrying him on his back, and for the first time tonight Isak laughed completely freely.


	2. Chapter 2

Isak stared at the pills on his palm and considered if he should take one more extra. He’s upped the dosage twice already, like he does every month, to battle the effect of the full moon. He’s standing in the bathroom, in his underwear, trying to ignore the patches of itching rash on his chest and sides. The blockers messed up the follicles somehow. The more he took them the worse it got, and if he was unlucky enough he’d develop an allergy that would force him to stop taking the blockers altogether.

He would never stop.

Even if it killed him.

Hell, this whole thing might kill him. All it took was a wrong kind of alpha, just slightly faster than him, eager to prove their worth and dominance. Isak touched his throat to brush away the feeling of sharp teeth scraping his skin. This might kill him. His mother would bury her son, thinking that she knew it from the start.  _ I told him so _ could easily have been her eulogy for Isak.

It didn’t matter. Living as an omega was killing him too. Only slower. Only out of sight. Isak shook one more pill on his palm, threw them in his mouth and let them rattle against his teeth before swallowing them. He leaned down to drink from the tap to wash them down. The itching seemed to flare up immediately, before the blockers had even reached his stomach.

It was all in his head.

Everything was all in his head.

If only it could match his body. But it didn’t. He could have been a great omega, he sure had the body for it, but at the same time he simply couldn’t. He couldn’t.

Isak spread the cream that barely helped over his rash, washed his hands and went to get breakfast. He was always grumpy when he hadn’t eaten, and he would feel better after he had something in his belly in addition to the blockers. After raiding the fridge Isak decided to settle for some fried eggs on toast.

After almost burning his breakfast and shoveling it in his mouth without really tasting it Isak remembered something. A text. From the man at the club, last night. Isak had just crashed in his bed when he had finally made it home, around dawn, and then forgotten about his phone completely.

He should just delete the message and forget all about the tall, handsome stranger. The guy was a wolf, and an alpha, and he  _ knew _ Isak was an omega and -- No, Isak interrupted himself, he was not an omega. That was the whole fucking issue, wasn’t it?

Okay, for the sake of conversation: to that guy’s perception, Isak was an omega. The guy had sent his text thinking that an omega would be receiving it. It wasn’t sent for Isak, it was sent for someone else he just happened to really look like. Someone else who didn’t exist. His loss.

That fact didn’t remove the other fact. Isak had a message in his phone, from a man he really liked receiving a text from, and he would have to make a decision about it sooner or later. Preferably sooner, before the full moon. The man knew his scent and might look for him during the night of running. He might find him.

A part of Isak wanted to be found by him. The stupid part.

Isak got up and went to find his phone. He was holding a half eaten egg toast, and as he bent down to rummage through the pile of his clothes he felt the yolk ooze down the side of his palm. Every muscle in his body tensed up, flinching, when the memory rushed in.

Moonlight. Fur. Teeth.

Blood. So much blood.

Waking up without a scratch in his human body.

Isak still didn’t know it it was because he had been injured as a wolf, or if he hadn’t been the one injured. If it hadn’t been his blood. It was rare, that a wolf attacked anything on the night of running, let alone  _ anyone. _ If it happened at all, nobody spoke of it. It was simply not talked about, never. A taboo.

But Isak had this nagging feeling buried deep inside him, that maybe that one time a wolf might have attacked someone.

It was probably just a dream. Usually he managed to convince himself about that fairly easily. But now, standing here with egg yolk running down his skin he realized he  _ knew _ the feeling. The feeling of something thick and warm on his skin. Something almost but not quite living. Not anymore.

The half of the sandwich he was holding moments ago clogged the sewer as the water Isak was scrubbing his hands with disintegrated it. The yellow yolk got diluted into clearness, and then hints of red speckled the messy soup of egg and toast. Isak was scrubbing his hands so hard that the bristles of the brush were drawing blood.

That was a familiar feeling, as well. Sometimes the itching got so bad.

Isak looked at the mucky water in the sink and swallowed, hard. Disgusting. But he was the alpha of the house, and that meant doing things like this, as well. Taking responsibility. Making sure everything runs smoothly. So he takes his intact hand and sinks it in the water. He digs through the mush and gathers it in his fist, and when the whirlpool finally appears he’s so relieved. He was just about to gag, and adding more half dissolved egg toast into that mix was not a tempting idea.

When the sink was cleared Isak cleaned up his raw skin. He wrapped a couple of rounds of bandage around it. It should heal soon. In an hour or two, the injury was so minor, and werewolves healed fast.

_ Not so fast that there wouldn’t be a scratch after bleeding that much. _

Isak fell on his knees by the toilet seat and threw up. As he spit the last bits out he heard his phone beep. If it was that fucking alpha again. Or possibly Jonas. Either way Isak wasn’t really feeling like checking the message right now.

Jonas wouldn’t understand.

The alpha wanted something Isak couldn’t give.

For someone so potentially popular Isak sure felt lonely.

He flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth from the tap. Then he dragged himself into the kitchen to put on some more toast. No eggs this time. He wasn’t feeling like it, but he needed to eat something so he could heal.

Dry toast wasn’t his favourite dish, but it was something. Isak munched on it, looking out the window, and let it settle in his belly. It felt heavier than its substance. Isak curled up at the end of his bed, into a nest he had made with blankets. The full moon was near, and he slept better like this. If you could call his shallow slumber something like sleeping better.

He had brought his phone with him this time. He fondled it nervously. He wanted to unlock the screen and he didn’t want to do it, equally much. But he also knew he couldn’t push it off endlessly. Jonas would get worried if he didn’t respond in reasonable time. He would simply have to do this.

Two messages. Both from the same person. That wolf from the club. The hot alpha Isak didn’t want to be thinking about anymore.

Those blue eyes, full of command. Just thinking about them made Isak feel the urge to submit, and that felt like a punch in the gut. It made him ache. It made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t have any more toast, he had to keep it inside.

Isak opened the conversation.

_ I hope your friend is alright. _

That was from last night. Nice move, mister alpha, portraying care for your fellow man. And, more importantly, Isak’s fellow man.

_ I wish to meet you. _

The second message made Isak frown. It wasn’t all that. Alpha. He wished? Alphas commanded. It was their nature. He wrote a response, just to show how it was done.

_ Go find yourself an omega, dude. _

He didn’t hit Send.


	3. Chapter 3

“It’s just that I’m an idiot, isn’t it?”

Isak looked at his friend from between his hands. He was leaning his head on them, his elbows on the table, Jonas sitting on the other side with his beer.

“I dare say that has been established several times during our acquaintance.”

Isak glared at him. Ha ha, funny guy Jonas.

“Why the fuck do I want to text him back?”

“Because you are an idiot. I thought we covered this already.”

Isak tried to kick Jonas, but he couldn’t quite reach. Jonas grinned triumphantly.

“Look, bro, I don’t know. People - and wolves - do crazy shit when they’re into someone.”

“I’m not  _ into _ anyone!”

Jonas sipped his beer, his brows raised.

“Mm-hm. You keep telling yourself that.”

This time Isak slid down on his chair and reached Jonas’ shin. Ha! Too bad his position made sure his kick didn’t have any power.

“I’ve barely seen him! Once!”

Jonas tried to avenge the kick he had received but had to admit that the table was indeed too wide for that. So, he took the cap of the beer and threw it at Isak. Rude!

“And you haven’t stopped talking about him ever since. It’s been days, man.”

Shit. Isak had no comeback for that. Jonas was right, he had been talking about that guy pretty much non-stop. He sighed, burying his face in his hands again.

“It doesn’t matter. He’s an alpha, and I’m an alpha, and that’s that.”

Jonas paused. He looked at Isak keenly, for long enough to make Isak squirm.

“What?”

“It’s just that, I don’t think I have any idea. You can tell me to shut the fuck up if you don’t want to answer, okay?”

Isak nodded. So, Jonas had a question either about being a werewolf or about being a werewolf like Isak. Either way, it was okay to ask.

“I mean, I know you’re not like. Gay or straight. But is it possible to be an alpha who is into alphas?”

Isak looked at Jonas for a moment, without saying anything. Making Jonas hear it himself, what he had just said. It took him a bit longer than usual. Might have been the beer.

“Shit!  _ You’re into him! _ And you’re both alphas!”

Isak nodded slowly. Exactly. As if it wasn’t hard enough, being an alpha born as an omega, he was also a deviant one. He was into alphas. Too.

“Yeah. Well. I do dream about one day living my life like a proper alpha. Having an omega of my own, protecting them, all that. I just need to find the right one for me. But meanwhile..”

“Meanwhile you’ve got all the hots in the world for that alpha.”

“Pretty much sums it up, yeah.”

They were quiet for a while. Then Jonas looked at Isak a bit carefully.

“How do you know he’s an alpha?”

“I’ve already told you? I can smell it. He smells like an alpha.”

“Yes, yes, yes.” Jonas waves his hand dismissively, like brushing Isak’s words out of the way. “But, I mean. To him you smelled like an omega. But you’re not one.”

“Thanks for reminding me that I’ll never pass, dickhead.” Isak’s insult lacked strength. Like his kicks.

“Love you too, bro. I know it’s bullshit, but it’s still a thing that’s real and happening, and we can’t simply ignore it just because we don’t like it. That’s why you’re taking the blockers, right?”

“Fuck you. It’s rude to be right when your friend is trying to have a crisis.”

“Sorry, not sorry.” Jonas got up and walked to the fridge. “Another one?”

Isak emptied his bottle.

“Sure.”

 

As Isak stepped in through his front door his phone beeped for the fifth time that day. The alpha was persistent, that much could be said about him. Isak was in a good mood after hanging out with Jonas, they’d taken a few beers and played some Fifa and just goofed around in general. Like some stupid kids. Well, those days weren’t that long behind, but still, it had been a while.

So, he opened the conversation and read the messages. Message by message they got more bizarre.

_Want to have a coffee or something?_ __  
_Did you see the game last night? Because I didn’t and I hope you’re not into sports._ __  
_I don’t mind you being into sports, tbh_ _  
_ _What’s your favourite colour? Mine’s gray._

The last message was a picture. It was taken outside, close to the ground. There were two things of interest in the picture: an imprint of a wolf’s paw, and the alpha’s hand pressed on the dirt right next to it. It was a good picture. Pleasant to look at, great composure and lighting, and it seemed almost artistic while the message it sent was clear. The alpha was telling Isak he was a wolf. As if Isak didn’t already know it. He must have smelled Isak at the club, right?

Right?

He had taken two extra blockers that day. Maybe they had hidden his scent after all? There was no reason for this alpha to send him that picture if he knew that Isak knew. The beer was still buzzing in Isak’s brain in a warm, dull cloud. He saw an opportunity, and he took it. He typed a message.

_ OMG are you a wolf? _

Send. The worst that could happen was that the alpha thought it was a joke. Isak stared at his screen and waited.

The three dots appeared.

_ Scared? _

He bought it. He thought Isak was human. That felt good and horrible at the same time. It was something Isak had never actually considered as an option. What if he stopped being a wolf altogether? There were remedies. Expensive, rare and experimental ones, but still, it was probably easier than making an omega into an alpha. He couldn’t live as an omega, but could he live as a man?

Might as well find out. He wrote a reply and sent it.

_ Not at all. _

During the course of the night and their texting Isak learned the alpha’s name so he remembered it now. Even. It was fun. Texting with a wolf who didn’t see him only as an omega. Especially when Even was an alpha. But now he was just a werewolf chatting with a human, and instead of displaying dominance or trying to coerce Isak into meeting him so they could mate Even was simply talking with him. Isak told Even his favourite colour, green, and that his favourite dinner was sandwiches and his guilty pleasure was to binge watch cosmetic surgery reality shows.

(Even’s: gray, as established, pasta and 90’s romantic movies -- not hopeless at all)

Hours later Isak’s phone was so hot he couldn’t really hold it anymore, and the battery was almost completely dead. He had to stop chatting before his phone would break or something.

_ Talk to you tomorrow? _ Isak asked. Even apologized and explained to him that it was full moon tomorrow night. Isak blinked, confused. He had forgotten all about it. He had been so absorbed into this conversation between a wolf and a man that he had forgotten about the night of running. Isak almost replied something along  _ see you then _ but stopped himself in time.

_ Oh, right. I forgot. _

It was weird, not lying at all and still saying something like that. Must have been the extra blockers he was on. Shit. What if he couldn’t turn properly because of them?

Nah. It’d be okay. Isak would skip them tomorrow morning and he’d be perfectly fine by moonrise.

They agreed to chat again the next night. Isak wished Even a good night, and Even did the same, and finally Isak’s phone got some much needed rest. Isak himself knew already he wouldn’t be sleeping at all that night. He knew it from how whenever he closed his eyes he saw Even’s blue eyes looking at him.


	4. Chapter 4

When the sun started to set on the night of running the city retreated indoors. In the last golden rays shops were closed, doors locked, curtains pulled. It was the night of the full moon, and the night of running, and no humans were outside after dark. The city belonged to those of the night, to the wolves, but they didn’t want it.

They stepped outside, locking the doors behind them. Men, women, young guys and girls, all wearing something comfortable and easy to take off. Cheap, in case they don’t find them in the morning. All the children are indoors. Werewolf children didn’t take part in the night of running because they didn’t change. It kicked in when puberty started to pass. So, the kids stayed home, while the older wolves flooded the streets.

Their shadows grew longer and longer until they disappeared completely, blending into the darkness. They walked down the streets, in silence, anticipation vibrating in the air around them. It was about to happen. They would leave the city, find some dirt under their paws and succumb to their nature.

Isak hated that. And at the same time he needed it. His body needed this. Most nights of running he just stayed home, turned in his bedroom and then paced around in a small circle all night. Alone. Safe. Where no alpha would come and make him submit, where he could not enjoy that submission. But tonight he wanted to run. And he wanted to see someone else run.

He kept a bit to the side, and his hood on. He did not want to run into Even like this. Off the blockers. He was starting to feel the effect of the moon about to rise. The call of the wild. He quickened his pace with the others, anxious to get out of town before starting to turn.

Isak made it into the suburbs. He hopped into a group of bushes on some front yard and undressed quickly. The first glimmer of the precious moon was trying to catch his eye. Isak shoved his clothes under the branches, at the root of the bush, and looked up at the rising moon.

It was so beautiful. The most beautiful thing Isak had ever seen, that disk of light that was golden and silvery at the same time. Isak succumbed to it, and he felt his body start to change. It felt brutal and looked painful, but it didn’t actually hurt. Once you got past the idea of hearing your bones crack and reshape your form, forcing you first on your knees and then on all fours, it was almost a cleansing experience. Isak was stripped of his humanity completely, and turning into what many people called their true nature.

The moon was even more beautiful when Isak looked at it through his yellow wolf eyes. He raised his nose and howled, a long, blue note, joining a growing choir of ones just like it, voices added to it as transformations were completed. It was an ancient song, and Isak’s wolf heart was singing in the same tune.

Being a wolf felt so different. His thoughts were muted, like a background noise, that he couldn’t really grasp. His senses were keener, and he could smell so, so much better. And hear. Isak turned his small pointy ears, listening to the night. He was listening for a certain set of paws, even though he had no idea how they sounded like.

The pack started running. Isak pushed his feet on the ground, he felt the grass under his paws, and the dirt, and the ground, and he ran. Fast like a lightning. He was quick, had always been, he kept to the side of the pack where he could go faster than the masses and just ran through the night.

It was wonderful. It was the best feeling ever. Isak was so free. The night around him smelled so fresh, this time of year everything was in bloom, every breath Isak took filled him with nature.

Then he smelled it.  _ Him. _ The alpha was near. Isak couldn’t remember his name in this form, but he remembered his scent. He searched with his eyes through the pack, he changed his course, he sniffed and sniffed to find the trail and follow it. The scent got stronger. He was on the right track.

Something thudded into Isak’s side and made him stumble and fall. He rolled through the grass down a small hill, and with him was someone else. Someone warm. Bigger than him. It was an alpha, Isak could smell it, but it wasn’t the one he was looking for. When he stopped rolling Isak twirled on his feet and flashed his teeth at the other wolf. No. Not this one. The alpha lowered her head and growled, softly and playfully, and as she pounced Isak bolted. He ran under her and disappeared between the trees.

Isak had to run fast to lose her. He ran as fast as he could and reached the pack again, he hopped through it to blend his scent with the others. He couldn’t smell her anymore. Good. But he had also lost  _ his _ scent. He decided to give up for this night and just enjoy the run. During the night of running werewolves could run anywhere between twenty and fifty kilometers, some even further.

The moon was so bright. It drowned the stars, hiding them behind its light. It owned the sky, and the wolves owned the land, and their rule was wild.

Isak smelled it again. The alpha he was looking for had just passed here, moments ago. He ran faster, zigzagging past the other wolves, and as the scent got stronger his heart beat faster. He wanted to find that wolf. He wanted to find his alpha. His every instinct commanded him and in this form he was their slave. The slave of his body. His biology. So he ran, faster, faster, until he saw him.

He was big. And strong. He was so clearly an alpha, and Isak longed to be by his side and submit to him. So he did his best to make that happen. He ran up to him. He ran beside him, and when he got close enough he whined. He let the alpha know what he wanted.

The alpha looked at him and licked his lips. It turned, just a bit, guiding Isak with his shoulder. Isak let it happen, he turned and ran where ever the alpha commanded him to. He followed. He loved it. It felt so liberating, to succumb to his instincts like this. When he was a wolf, he was all instinct, all body.

They ended up on a small clearing, a bit to the side from the rest of the pack. Isak could hear their paws thud against the ground in a deafening rhythm, but he could also hear the soft tepping of the alpha as it circled him. He was breathing faster. He flashed his teeth at the alpha, challenging him, and the alpha accepted the challenge. He pounced, and Isak received him with his body, barking shortly and sharply with excitement.

They rolled around on the grass, wrestling. Isak ended up on his back every round, with the alpha’s teeth holding his throat, whining and whimpering with his tail between his legs as the alpha growled, low and booming. Isak pressed his ears against his head as a token of his submission, but as soon as the alpha let go he tried again.

He lost, every time. He was an omega, and omegas lost. They rolled on their backs and whimpered, they licked the corners of the alpha’s mouth, begging for forgiveness. The alpha smelled so great. Isak loved that scent, and he wanted to roll around in it until it was all he could smell.

They played for hours. When they were too tired to wrestle they just laid there on the grass, Isak curled up against the alpha’s heaving side. It was once again a resting moment like that, when they got interrupted by another alpha. It was the one who had pounced Isak earlier tonight. She stepped to the edge of the clearing, growling at the other alpha. Isak flipped over behind his alpha, whining. He needed protection.

His alpha was ready to deliver. He jumped on his feet and crouched, growling, baring his teeth. Isak made sure to keep him between himself and the female alpha, and after circling around them a couple of times she decided to give up. With an angry clack of her teeth she turned around and ran off. Isak hurried to lick all over his alpha’s face in gratitude, and yelped, delighted, when he was wrestled down on his back again.

When the night started to run out Isak made sure to spare his strength and use up the alpha’s energy. He needed to be stronger, so he could be faster, so he could outrun the alpha before they turned back. He heard others start to head back for the city, and suddenly he just turned around and joined the running wolves. He ran, as fast as he could, zipping back and forth across the stream of wolves to mix his scent so he had some hope to make the alpha lose his tracks.

He succeeded. When Isak returned to the yard and between the bushes he was alone. He listened, as long as his wolf senses allowed him to, listened and sniffed but he couldn’t sense the alpha anymore. He had made it. He sat in the bushes and turned to look at the moon that was setting, marking the end of the night of running. Soon Isak would shift his shape, get dressed and sneak back home. But there was still a couple of minutes left of this night, this magic, and for the first time in forever Isak was a bit sorry it was ending.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made an addition to the notes in the beginning of this fic, please consult them before proceeding.
> 
> Also, in this chapter, the mood will be drastically darker than in ch 4. Come prepared.

The day after the night of running Isak woke up from his nest of blankets, sheets and pillows some time late in the afternoon. He was feeling sick from hunger, but he wasn’t feeling like getting up just yet. He wanted to take a moment to think back about last night. To remember.

The memories were fuzzy. He had been running. And there had been an alpha, and another alpha, and when it hit Isak he covered his mouth. He had submitted. Like an omega. His body had betrayed him once again, and there was nothing he could do about it until his biology had been fixed.

Everything good about last night washed away with the tidal wave of disappointment, shame and unbearable sense of not doing enough. Isak curled up tighter inside his covers, but he could smell how they reeked of omega. He struggled his way out of them, run into the bathroom and downed half a handful of blockers without bothering to even count them. One of them got stuck in his throat, and even after Isak had forced it down with water from the tap he could feel it in there. He caught the lingering taste at the back of his tongue.

Isak grabbed the edges of the sink to keep his hand from shaking. This, he hissed to himself through his gritted teeth, was not how an alpha behaved. Alphas were strong. They were aloof and easygoing, not whiny little wet bags of emotion. Thinking about what made an alpha made Isak think about last night, when he had cowered behind Even, and he had to struggle to keep his blockers in his belly. He needed to keep them in so they would work.

The water was steaming when Isak stepped into the shower. It was almost too hot, but he could take it. Only the patches of rash on his skin hurt when the water hit them, but Isak could take the pain. An alpha would have to handle being bit. A little bit of water was nothing. Besides, the pain soothed the itching.

Isak scrubbed his skin with the rough side of the sponge. He needed to get rid of every last bit of omega sweat, filled with hormones and pheromones. If there was as much as a drop of it left Even would smell it, and he would know, and he would tell Isak to come with him and Isak didn’t know if he could resist.

It was a terrifying feeling.

Not being able to resist something you didn’t want to happen.

It made Isak feel powerless. Worthless. How could he fail at something so basic as simply  _ being. _

If he just could smell like an alpha. It would be everything he needed to be treated as one. There were fake alpha pheromones on the market, but they were more for humans who wanted to mate with an omega. They required a common agreement to work at all. If Isak tried to use them to simply pass as an alpha, other wolves could immediately tell something was off. Isak had to make his body produce the scent on its own, and that was hard, and risky, and took a long time, and meanwhile he was stuck.

He couldn’t get a family. He couldn’t get a life.

Stuck.

Isak slapped his face to give himself something to cry about. He remembered, when he was just a child, how he was constantly trying to get into enough trouble to deserve a beating. That’s how alphas were raised back then, to make them tough, to make them understand the rules, because they were strong enough to cause real trouble if they didn’t obey. Isak wanted to be that strong, but he never was.

If Isak ever had cubs he would pay attention to how they longed to be treated. But that was a huge if, and he most likely would never become a parent, and why the fuck was he thinking about  _ that _ now, too? Wasn’t he upset enough already?

He closed his eyes and thought about Even. The way he moved. The way he smelled. The way he simply  _ was _ in a way that made every wolf in vicinity to understand that yes, that was an alpha. Isak couldn’t be sure which he wanted more. To fuck Even, or to be him. He might be able to achieve one. If he lied well enough.

Shit, those were his only options, weren’t they? He would either forget about Even completely or he would lie to him about being human. He could never, never ever in his life, be with Even as himself. Isak stared at the tiled wall, hot water beating down on his mistake of a body, and felt his heart crack a bit further again.

It didn’t matter. Even was just a guy, just some alpha, and the world was full of those. Isak would simply see him a couple of times as a human, then forget about him and get back to being stuck with waiting.

After all, he was starting to get quite good at that.

Isak was forced out of the shower by his phone. It was ringing persistently, the caller was just calling him over and over again, unwilling to accept that Isak was trying to ignore the whole thing. So, he turned the water off, stepped out of the shower and walked into the kitchen where his phone was charging.

It was Jonas. Because of course it was. Isak was so relieved to find out it wasn’t Even that he answered the call without really thinking about it.

“Hello?”

“Finally! I was getting worried about you!”

“I was in the shower, dickhead. What is it?”

Jonas laughed out loud.

“What did you just call me? What are we, thirteen again?”

“If we were we wouldn’t be speaking to each other, you know”, Isak reminded. He had seen Jonas at school his whole life but they never actually spoke until they met at some party when they were fifteen and hit it off immediately. They’d been best friends ever since.

“A curse or a blessing, who could tell.” Isak could hear Jonas was grinning. It made him feel a bit better himself. “So, how was last night?”

Isak wasn’t feeling better anymore. He swallowed. He could taste the blockers in his throat again. He didn’t want to talk about this, but at the same time he knew he had to.

“Could you come over and bring something with you?”

“What, like weed or booze?”

“Or ice cream.”

“I have a thing in an hour but I can come by when I get out of there? So, in about two or three hours, how’s that sounding?”

“Like a date.”

Jonas laughed.

“I’ll bring the ice cream, you pick what we’ll watch. A dinner and a movie is the traditional choice, right?”

“I want to talk, not watch a movie.”

“Then pick something we’ve seen a thousand times. Jurassic Park?”

“We’re  _ not _ talking over a masterpiece, Jonas.”

“Fair point, man. Let’s skip the movie and hop straight to bed, then.”

“Now that’s a date, dickhead.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy exposition, Batman! Prepare to be SO INFORMED.

Jonas arrived when he had said he would, a couple of hours after their phone call. Isak had spent that couple of hours obsessing over everything about his body that he hated, and he had got himself really worked up. When the doorbell rang Isak wiped his eyes and went to let Jonas inside.

“What’s wrong?” Jonas asked, shoving the tub of ice cream in Isak’s hands to give him something to do.

“Everything.”

Jonas nodded, calmly, and took his shoes off.

“Let’s get some spoons and then you can tell me all about it. Also --” Jonas reached behind his back and pulled out a tin of whipped cream. “This seemed to be in order.”

“Did you just pull out whipped cream from your pants or something?”

“It’s not cool to judge.”

“I’m just saying that whipped cream out of pants seems unappetizing.”

“Well, more for me.”

Jonas did it again. He made Isak smile through his crisis. All he had to do was be here and Isak was feeling better. Less alone. Jonas was also always ready to listen to Isak rant about the same things over and over again. He never interrupted Isak, or made Isak feel like he was a burden or a nuisance.

Without Jonas, Isak wouldn’t probably be here anymore.

Isak got the spoons from the kitchen and joined Jonas on the couch. They sat on opposite ends, facing each other, and stretched their legs out into one tangled mess. The tub of ice cream and the whipped cream sat in the middle, where they both could reach with their spoons.

They started with eating. After the third spoonful Isak finally sighed and leaned on the couch with his temple. He needed to talk. He really needed to talk.

“I went looking for him last night. And I found him.”

Jonas grimaced and drew a breath through his teeth.

“Ouch.”

Isak nodded. Yep. Ouch, indeed.

“I found him, too. I don’t really remember the night but I know I found him, and that I spent most of the night with him. Like an omega.”

Isak’s voice withered away by the end, and he shoved ice cream in his mouth to stop himself from crying again.

“How was it?” Jonas asked. Isak sighed. And felt his cheeks get wet again.

“I don’t know how to describe it. It was like. When I’m a wolf my biology takes over, and it’s not. I’m not fully conscious? I’m aware, but not in control.”

“Sounds awful, really.”

Isak shook his head.

“It’s not. I mean, it is to me, yes, the next morning it’s just. Awful. But when I’m a wolf it’s different. Everything is different.”

“Would you like to. I don’t know.” Jonas paused, squirting some whipped cream on his spoon. “If you could be in human form all the time, would you?”

“Funny it’s called that, by the way.  _ Human _ form. It’s like that’s the baseline and the wolf form is the deviant. It’s not true. I’m a werewolf, and there is no human in me whatsoever. All werewolf.”

“I don’t know, man”, Jonas protested. “You just dropped off an important bit. Form. As in, shaped like?”

“You can’t ignore millenia of social power constructions for the sake of an argument. That’s just lazy.”

Jonas shrugged.

“My original question still stands. Would you do it? Stop changing form?”

“That’s really not a valid question. There is no way I could stop being a werewolf and keep being me. Because I am a werewolf.”

Jonas was quiet for a while.

“It’s just that. I’m trying to understand why you’re crying, and how we could avoid that from happening.”

Isak shrugged. There really wasn’t much they could do.

“I just want to live as an alpha. Be an alpha. I want an alpha’s scent and alpha’s strength and alpha’s dick.”

“Whoa, whoa. Borderline TMI man.”

Isak shut up. But, as he expected, Jonas didn’t take long to ask.

“Is it different?”

“Yup. You know how canines knot?”

“Uh..huh?”

Isak nodded, shaking his spoon at Jonas.

“That’s an alpha dick.”

“So..when you said you need surgery you meant also..your dick?”

Isak chuckled.

“I wish! It’s practically never done, and hardly ever worked.”

“Is it important? Like, for being an alpha? Is mean, is there some werewolf thing that can’t happen without knotting?”

Isak shrugged.

“In the rare case I would actually find someone willing to be my omega, we can just. Simulate it. Physically it’s not the same but I’ve heard it’s emotionally close enough. When a human is with an omega, that’s how they do it.”

Isak’s phone buzzed. He checked it, routinely, and froze. Shit. He had forgotten.

“What is it? You look scared and happy at the same time and that’s just weird.”

“It’s him. Even.”

“The other alpha?”

Isak really appreciated it, how Jonas called Even the other alpha. He meant Isak was the other one, and seriously, without Jonas Isak could not do this at all.

“Yeah, him. I think he doesn’t know I’m a wolf. Because of the blockers. Hang on, get your phone out.” Isak took a screenshot of Even’s first messages to him, the picture included, and sent it to Jonas. “Right?”

Jonas checked his phone, and nodded.

“It would seem so. So, what if he doesn’t know?”

Isak sighed, resting his phone on his chest.

“I don’t know. He’s like super hot, and I want to do him so bad, but he’s an alpha.”

“Don’t alphas ever submit to humans, then? I think I’ve heard that the hierarchy is mostly biological?”

“Mostly. To many wolves, but still, it’s. It’s ingrained in everything.”

“So he wouldn’t let you fuck him?”

Isak blushed. Fucking Jonas, why was he talking about sex all the time tonight?

“Fuck if I know.”

“Would you let him fuck you?”

Isak shook his head. Hell no. Oh, no, nononono.

“My omega hormones would kick in so hard I wouldn’t recover for a week. Especially if he knots, that sets off a real fucking cocktail.”

Jonas grimaced again.

“I get it, man.” It didn’t take Jonas long to recover. There was a wicked glint in his eyes. “Blowjobs?”

“You need to get laid, dude! What the fuck?” Isak had to admit he was thinking about it, though. He wouldn’t mind blowing that hot alpha, or feeling those plump lips around his dick. “Maybe.”

“You know, people can have lifelong relationships without anal sex being a part of it.”

“I don’t want a lifelong relationship with an alpha! I want an omega. A proper family.”

Jonas moved his leg so it entwined with Isak’s.

“Free your mind, man. Worked with me.”

“It’s not --” Isak huffed. And nudged at Jonas with his toes. “What if I fall in love with him?”

“I suppose then you’d think of a way how you can be with him. No matter what he is, or what you are.”

“It’s not that simple! If he doesn’t let me be an alpha I can’t -- I can’t.”

Jonas took his foot like it was his hand, and held it. He waited until Isak looked him in the eye, too.

“Look, Issy, I know. I know it’s hard. I know you’re struggling. But you can’t just sit around and wait to suddenly become happy.”

“Are you encouraging me to fucking break my heart?”

“Maybe? I don’t know, I just think you should meet this guy for a coffee and see what happens.”

“Just for the record, consider yourself lucky I’m not kicking you right now. Good move, grabbing my foot.”

“Duly noted.”

They finished the ice cream in silence. Isak kept thinking about what Jonas had said. About blowjobs and such. And now, with Jonas here, Isak could almost make himself believe he had a chance, like a shot of something resembling normal. In a burst of courage and false hope he took his phone and texted Even. He responded immediately.

“Shit.”

“What is it?”

“You have to leave. He asked if our date for tonight is still on and I said I don’t feel like leaving home.”

“And?” Jonas looked keen, perked up, leaning closer.

“He’s a fucking alpha, what do you think?”

“Oh. Ohhhh. I really need to leave.”

“Yes! Get going!”

“Wait, he knows where you live?”

“He texted me he’s going to be here in ten minutes, so apparently?” Isak tried to kick Jonas off the couch. It didn’t happen, but Jonas got up willingly.

“Sounds stalkery. Are you sure he’s safe?”

“Of course not! Get out!”

Jonas kind of oozed his way to his shoes. He pulled them on slowly.

“Should I be worried about you?”

“He protected me.”

“Huh?”

“Last night. There was some other alpha and he protected me.”

Jonas wasn’t convinced. He made Isak promise to text him in ten minutes and then in an hour to let him know everything was okay. Then he finally left. Isak looked around, sniffed his clothes and went to get an extra blocker just in case.


	7. Chapter 7

Isak opened the door after the third knock. That’s how long it took for him to make himself stop shaking. The night of running had passed, but Isak could still feel its effects in his body. He could feel the pull of the alpha, and a part of him - well, most of his body - wanted to answer the call. But he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t surrender to biology, he was stronger than that.

He opened the door and looked into Even’s blue eyes. He felt all resistance melt away into a puddle on the floor, and he could feel his whole body open up to receive the alpha. It was sending every subliminal message it could come up with, his eyes grew wide and dark, his lips parted, his breath got shallow and quick. Even stepped inside and that same step brought him to Isak’s lips, where he was warmly welcome.

Isak felt Even’s chest press against him. He heard the door close when Even kicked it with his heel. He pushed his fingers behind Even’s neck, into his hair, and bent his head back as Even kissed the side of his neck. It felt so good. His every cell wanted to surrender, to let the alpha mount him, he could smell the alpha’s heat so clearly. Even was the best smelling alpha Isak had ever sniffed. He was the hottest Isak had ever seen. When Even started to descend along Isak’s body, pushing his hands under Isak’s shirt and rolling its hem up simultaneously Isak’s eyes rolled back in his head.

“Stop”, he whispered, barely. Even’s lips circled his belly button with small hungry kisses. “Please. Stop.”

“Huh?” Even grabbed Isak’s hips and buried his face in Isak’s crotch. Isak was shaking again.

“Please. Stop. Stop.”

Even stopped. He looked up. Isak was well aware of how hard he was right next to Even’s face, but still. No. He didn’t want this. And he did, so bad, he wanted to be just taken by the alpha, but at the same time that thought made him feel sick to his stomach.

“Are you sure?”

Isak laughed. He hoped it didn’t sound too desperate.

“No? But I don’t. I’m not ready. Please. Stop.”

What if Even didn’t stop? A rush of warmth ran through Isak’s body, through the wall of blockers. The omega’s need to submit. Isak swallowed, hard, and stepped back, further away from Even.

“I don’t want this.”

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t you fucking dare cry.

Even sat back on his heels and looked at him. He looked embarrassed, and that look didn’t work for an alpha like at all.

“I’m so sorry. I got a bit carried away. I haven’t dated humans before, only other wolves.”

Isak nodded, blinking furiously. Don’t cry.

“It’s okay. It felt really good, but. I’m not ready.”

They were silent for a moment. They were just observing each other, closely, trying to figure out what to do next. It was hard, when the air was this thick with pheromones. Even grinned, apologetically.

“Do you mind if I take a shower?”

“Not at all!” Isak replied, way too quickly. Yes, please, take a shower and wash away that horny alpha scent. “There’s a clean towel hanging on the wall. I’ll fix us something to drink while you’re in there. Tea? Coffee?”

“Coffee, please. If that’s not too much trouble?”

Isak managed to convince Even that it wasn’t, and to get Even in the bathroom. After a moment Isak heard the water start running and he grabbed his phone.

_ Dude he almost went down on me the second he came in!! _

Jonas responded immediately and enthusiastically, with a row of fire emoji.

_ I wanted to stop before anything happened. I am the biggest loser in the history of losers and I’m lucky I’ve fucked before because otherwise I would die a virgin _

It took forever for Jonas to reply this time. Isak kept staring at those three dots, waiting, waiting, waiting. Come on, dude! He had to make coffee before Even got out of the shower! Finally the message appeared.

_ You are not a loser. You’re a wonderful guy and I love you to fucking bits, even though you are an idiot. No matter what happens with that alpha tonight I’ve got your back and you need to just call me and I’ll come running. What I’ve heard of alphas the fact that he stopped when you asked speaks volumes for him, and you must remember one thing: You. Deserve. To. Be. Happy. Go for it. Live a little. _

Isak didn’t know what to say. Jonas left him speechless. But he was running out of time, he had to get the coffee going, so he just chose a random array of emoji to express gratitude and bromantic love and some go-getter attitude, shoved the phone in his pocket and got to work.

Five minutes later the coffee was dripping, and soon after that the water stopped running. Would Even step out wearing just a towel? Or not even that much? Isak blushed, all the way down the back of his neck, just thinking about it. He sniffed himself again and decided to have a quick change. He pulled his shirt off and threw it on the bed, pulled a fresh one from the closet and put it on. A bit on the tighter side. He could see his nipples through the fabric, shoot. But he heard the bathroom door open, so he was totally not going to take his shirt off now.

He could still smell Even. But now his scent was easier to handle, it wasn’t so full of alpha. He could make out the guy under the alpha smell.

And he smelled fucking amazing. Isak was so fucked.

“Isak?”

As if Even couldn’t smell where Isak was. He was treating Isak like a human, and that was. It wasn’t ideal, but it was something, and it was the best Isak could hope for. Live a little.

“In the bedroom. Just a minute.”

Isak waited. He listened, holding his breath. Was Even coming in here too? It didn’t sound like it. No, Isak heard him open and close a cupboard a couple of times, then he smelled the coffee being poured. He was actually waiting. Isak’s heart was fluttering a bit, drunk with the vague hope of a slim chance that this might actually possibly work.

When Isak stepped out of the bedroom Even was sitting by the table with his coffee, his phone in his hand. He put it away the second he saw Isak. No finishing the paragraph or his sentence, instant dismissal of the device and his unshared attention directed towards Isak. It felt nice. The man got game, Isak had to admit that.

“Hey.”

“Hey. I like your shirt.”

Isak looked down and blushed. He knew Even could see his nipples glaring through the shirt, and he knew Even thought Isak was doing this on purpose.

“I spilled some water when making the coffee and just grabbed a random shirt to change into. I should have paid more attention, really.”

“No worries. I don’t mind.” Even wiggled his eyebrow in a way that made Isak’s shoulders relax and pulled a smile on his lips.

“I feel like I should cover up or something,” Isak managed to say and crossed his arms across his chest. He was embarrassed but not uncomfortable, and that was a really strange state to be in.

“I know your eyes are up there”, Even said and winked. Isak blushed again, because he was reduced into a giggling school girl. No, wait, no, that was wrong. Giggling school girls were totally valid and cool, it was just that Isak wasn’t usually like that.

Isak turned around to get himself a mug for the coffee. He tried to keep his movements calm and unfrantic, but that lead to him just moving super slow, showing off his body to Even. Shit. But it was too late, he was in the game and he had to play it all the way. Finally he had the mug in his hand and he could pour it full of coffee and have something to put his hands around to.

He should probably turn around to face Even. He reached out his arm and turned the radio on to prolong that event. It was too quiet in here, he needed some music, just some background noise.

It took a second for Isak to realize the background noise was coming also from behind him. Even was humming and half singing along. Isak listened to him for a bit, then noticed he was moving his hip to the music. Little hip pops, gently swaying, and his head started nodding, his shoulders picked on the rhythm. It was a stupid song, the catchy tune from last summer that was played everywhere and all the time, but the familiarity of it was actually sort of a blessing. It was easy to jump aboard on.

By the end of the second verse Isak was full on dancing. He let Even enjoy the show, he even wiggled his butt a bit at the chorus. Even was singing bolder now, too, actually singing, and though his voice was pleasant he really couldn’t sing too well. It didn’t matter. They were enjoying the song together, and when it started to fade Isak thought that this was definitely them having a moment. It was almost over, but it was still here, and it was tangible and alive, and for a moment, that wonderful, vibrant moment, Isak was just him. He wasn’t an omega, he wasn’t a human, he wasn’t really particularly alpha either, he was simply Isak, and for a moment that was enough.


	8. Chapter 8

Isak’s coffee was lukewarm by the time they had stopped their impromptu dance party. The song had faded away but then there had been another one, just as catchy, and Isak had just kept on dancing to the beat Even had tapped on the table with his hands. After the third song the commercials kicked in and Isak stopped dancing, slightly short of breath. It was time to turn around, and before he could start obsessing about it and making things weird, he just turned.

Even was smiling. He looked happy and content, and now that Isak saw that expression on that face he knew it was a rare sight.

“Nice moves”, Even said, still smiling with his whole face. Isak grinned.

“Thank you. Learned them from my papa.”

“So your papa was a polaroid picture? Because you sure can shake it.”

Isak laughed. And sipped his coffee, only to frown and spit it back in the mug. Ew.

“Cold.”

Even wiggled his eyebrows super flamboyantly.

“From where I’m sitting it’s steaming.”

Isak put the mug in the sink and turned the radio off. He hated that toothpaste commercial, it was stupid and the jingle got stuck in his head for days on end.

“Good line, player.”

“Couldn’t resist. You have that in common.” Wiggle wiggle, went the eyebrows. Isak laughed.

“Do your lines ever actually work on anyone?”

“Approximately three times in a hundred, I guess?”

Isak stepped back clutching his invisible pearls.

“A hundred? Are you a floozy?”

Even laughed out loud, in a way that someone laughs when they’re relaxed in their current company. Isak was so happy that Even was feeling the same way he was. At ease.

“That’s one way to put it. Some may call me a harlot, as well.”

“I think that to qualify as a harlot you would have to charge for your services.”

“I firmly believe in the business model of free samples.”

Even pushed his chair back a bit and leaned back. Isak walked to him in slow, slightly swaying steps.

“What kind of samples?”

“Oh, just a lil’ something to nibble on, mostly.”

Isak stopped right in front of Even, half between his spread legs. He pressed his fingertips lightly on the edge of Even’s T-shirt’s collar. He pulled it down just the slightest bit, just enough to get a peek of the tip of the collar bone. He licked his lips slowly.

A nibble, eh?

Isak bent down and pressed his lips on the tip of the bone. He felt Even’s sigh in his hair. It raised the back of his neck on goosebumps. He tasted again, just a little nibble with his lips, a little flick of the tongue, then Even pushed his fingers under Isak’s jaw and guided his lips on his.

The kiss took so long that Isak’s back was starting to protest. He had to stop before he sprained something or cramped up. He pulled back and saw Even was still smiling.

“Well? How do you like the merchandise?”

“I take all you can supply. Do you deliver? I’d like it in the living room.”

“Well, wouldn’t you know, we happen to have a special today. Free delivery to any location.”

“Sold.” Isak took Even’s hand and pulled him into the living room with him. He walked Even to the couch and guided him on his back on it. He followed right behind, laying himself beside and on top of Even, their legs entwined into a cozy mess, and kissed him again.

And again.

His mouth was so soft. His lips were full and plump, and he kissed Isak so gently. There was a bit of hunger in the kisses, but more softness, because that was what Isak brought in them. Even was completely following his lead, and that felt good in ways Isak hadn’t encountered before.

He kissed like an alpha right now.

It felt really fucking good.

It was also weird. That Even, the alpha, surrendered like this. To him. Isak had never heard of an alpha who surrendered to anyone, but to be honest, he didn’t really hang out with wolves. He was happy with Jonas and his friends, also human boys. So, it was possible he simply didn’t know. But he knew he didn’t want to surrender to anyone.

“Hello?”

Isak blinked and looked at Even.

“Sorry?”

“You kind of spaced out for a moment there?”

Isak blushed. He did, didn’t he? For how long? He had no idea.

“Sorry. You just got me all light headed.”

Even shifted.

“You know, this is a bit uncomfortable. I’m too..long. All over.”

“Mm. I can imagine. I’m long as well, and you’re even longer.”

Even squirmed a bit, looking for a better position. Isak smiled at him and wiggled himself up on his feet. He gave Even his hand.

“Come on. The bed should be more comfortable.”

The way Even just flowed and followed wherever Isak guided him made Isak’s skin tingle all over. He was so ridiculously happy. He was over the moon. He was almost dancing his way into the bedroom, pulling Even with him.

They rolled around the bed kissing for what felt like hours, but in a good way. Isak couldn’t get enough of this man. He wasn’t even horny, despite all the touches and lips and tongues all over. Sure, he would have loved to have sex with Even, if it was possible, but there was something more here. Something that made him perfectly content with just kissing.

When their lips were so swollen and sore they simply couldn’t kiss anymore Isak rolled on his back on the bed, panting softly. Fuck, that was awesome. He felt Even move closer and was just about to tell him he couldn’t possibly give him one more kiss, when Even snuggled himself against Isak and rested his head on Isak’s shoulder.

He was setting himself up for a cuddle.

To  _ be cuddled. _

By Isak.

Isak wrapped his arm around Even’s shoulders, forming his own shoulder and armpit into a more comfortable pillow for Even. Even seemed to like that. He made a tiny little satisfied sound, snuggled up a bit closer and then let out a happy sigh.

Isak was cuddling a beautiful boy. He was holding that boy, and it was his job to protect him from whatever, like some dust bunnies under the bed or something. Isak would slaughter every last one of them if they tried to harm Even in any way. Isak stroked Even’s hair softly.

“I don’t usually do this.”

Even laughed. It sounded like purring.

“What, kiss werewolves until they run out of energy?”

“Yeah. Or, well. Anyone. I’m not. You’re different. You know?”

“Against all odds, master of words, I do.” Even rubbed his cheek against Isak’s chest. “I’m happy to be different.”

They laid in silence for a moment. Then Isak realized he had forgotten to ask Even something.

“Uh. I’m sorry to kill the mood, but there’s something I’ve been wondering. I mean. I never gave you my address.”

Even listened to Isak, and kept quiet after Isak finished. He was quiet for a while.

“Oh, sorry, you finished? I was waiting for a question. You really fried my brain.”

Isak didn’t laugh. He waited.

“Remember when we texted all night? And I sent you a picture of the sky I saw through my window, and then you sent me a picture of yours?” Even pointed at the window. Isak looked out. “See that neon sign at the top of that building? It was in the picture. When I knew the right house it was easy for me to smell which door was yours.”

Isak blushed. Even could smell his door. He could smell his house and. Oh. No. Oh, oh no, no. Isak pushed Even off and got out of bed.

“You need to leave.”

Even looked at him, puzzled.

“I’m sorry?”

“I mean it.” Isak couldn’t stop touching his hair. Or his face. Or his hair. “You need to leave right now. Please.”

He could feel the omega scent ooze out of him. He needed a shower. He needed more blockers. He needed to get Even the hell out of here.

“GO!”

Even jumped up, startled by Isak’s scream. He didn’t even stay to put his shoes on, he just grabbed them with him on his way out the door. The second the door closed after him Isak rushed into the shower. He didn’t even take his clothes off, he didn’t check the temperature, he just turned the water on full blast and let it rinse away his stench. It mixed into the water with his tears and got sucked down in the sewer, carrying the shards of his heart with it.


	9. Chapter 9

Okay, Isak might have been a tad dramatic. His heart wasn’t really broken, just battered, and calling Jonas and exclaiming to go jump off a bridge was perhaps a bit much. Jonas had - rightly so - run to Isak and given him the telling off of his life, and then he had made him some coffee and listened to him pour out his heartache.

Jonas looked at him over his mug.

“So. Did you start smelling like an omega all of a sudden?”

Isak blinked. He didn’t understand. He had been talking for an hour straight, and Jonas hadn’t been listening to him at all?

“He could smell me!”

“Yes, yes, I know what he said. But, like. Isak. Can you smell me?”

Jonas reached out his arm. He didn’t need to, because Isak could smell him from across the table. He smelled human, yes, but he also smelled like Jonas. The way Jonas smelled like made Isak feel all warm and safe inside. Jonas smelled like home, in a way that Isak’s home never had.

“Of course I can smell you.”

“I can’t smell you. Not unless I really sniff at you, then I can, but I can’t tell by sniffing at doorknobs which apartment is yours. Could you tell mine?”

Isak nodded. He could. Easily.

“Do you smell like the same as a man and a wolf?”

“For the hundredth time, I’m a werewolf. I’m both, and neither.”

“Humor me.”

Isak sighed. He knew what Jonas meant.

“I don’t know. I turn only when I don’t take the blockers, and I can’t really smell myself like that. I’m too used to my own scent.”

“Okay. But, could it be possible - or, even likely - that you have _a_ _scent_ when you are -- when you look like this and take the blockers? And that’s what Even was talking about?”

Isak frowned. Then he pouted. Then he slammed his forehead on the table.

“I’m a fucking idiot”, he mumbled.

“What?”

Isak sighed and sat up again.

“I’m a fucking idiot. You’re right. Of course you’re right, and now I have kicked Even out for no reason and he will never speak to me again.”

“What did I tell you about your level of drama, Issy?”

Isak pouted. Jonas was being mean and stupid and right.

“It’s probably the blockers. I’m super hormonal all the time.”

Jonas leaned a bit closer. He looked worried. Great.

“Should you mention that to your doctor?”

Isak shook his head. He had to sit still and bite on his lip for a while to keep himself from crumbling.

“No. He might want me to stop taking them. I can’t. I just can’t and you can’t make me.”

“Issy you said you want to go jump off a bridge.”

“I was being dramatic! I wasn’t  _ really _ going to do that.”

“Uh-huh. So, ‘I should go find a bridge right now and end this pathetic freak show for good’ was just a side notion for colour?”

“When you put it like that I sound like an asshole.”

Jonas didn’t say anything. Isak fiddled with the edge of his coffee mug. He really was an asshole, wasn’t he? Creating all this drama and then just pouring it over Jonas.

“I’m sorry.”

“For?”

Isak looked up. Jonas wasn’t going to let him off the hook, was he? Shit.

“For blowing everything out of proportion because of my own insecurities, and then exploding in your face, I guess?”

“That’s very self reflective for such short notice. One might think this isn’t the first time we’re in this situation.”

Isak really wanted to roll his eyes, but he didn’t dare.

“You want me to grovel at your feet or something?”

Jonas shook his head. He looked serious. He even put his coffee down.

“No. But I want you to learn something. I want you to do better next time.”

Jonas was right. It was shitty of Isak to keep apolgizing and still keep doing the same thing over and over again. But.

“I probably won’t. Do better. Not as long as this thing with Even is going on. It’s just so hard.”

“What is it that you’re so scared of? The guy seems to like you a lot.”

Isak bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from snapping at Jonas. It seemed his best friend’s horse wasn’t all that high after all.

“He doesn’t know what I am. I have no way of telling how he will react if he finds out. He could attack me for all I know, or tell others about me. Every time I tell someone I take a huge risk, because --” Isak sighed, shook his head, and made sure he had eye contact with Jonas before he continued. “A lot of people seem great until the wrong subject comes up.”

He waited. Would Jonas get it?

Jonas smiled, the shyest, happiest little smile Isak had ever seen on his face. He got it.

“So, I seemed great?”

Isak chuckled.

“Yep. I was sadly mistaken, but at least you were trustworthy.”

Jonas grinned. All was forgiven, once again.

It was late, and Jonas had decided to stay in for the night. As Isak opened the bedroom door, a rush of hormone filled, stuffy air flowed in their face. Jonas laughed out loud.

“He must have  _ really _ liked you, man!”

Isak blushed. He was so happy that things hadn’t got further than just kissing. But Jonas was right, Even’s scent was strong in here. And, to Isak’s horror, it was seriously turning him on.

“It was so weird. He totally let me kiss him like an alpha. He surrendered, you know?”

“I don’t. I have no idea how werewolves kiss.” Jonas threw himself on his back on the bed and stretched. Isak noticed the hem of his shirt ride up. Jonas wasn’t actually bad looking, but he was Isak’s bro. His best friend. And Isak really wished Jonas wasn’t trying to set up anything that would take things past that level.

“Does that mean you want to find out?” Isak asked, after a way, way too long silence. Jonas shrugged.

“I’m good, thanks. I’ll take your word for it.”

“And I’ll take your word on human kisses -- shit!” Isak’s eyes grew wide. Fuck. How could he have been so stupid? “What if Even knows! How humans kiss!”

Jonas rolled his eyes and sat up with a groan.

“Okay that does it. Come here.”

“What? Why?”

“So that I can kiss you like a human kisses. For comparison.”

“But --”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Jonas got up on his feet, stepped to Isak and grabbed him from behind his neck. Before Isak really understood that this was actually happening, it happened. Jonas kissed him. It was weird. It wasn’t at all like kissing with Even, but Isak did his best anyhow. Because, if Jonas kissed like a human and Isak kissed like a werewolf, they could both compare.

The kiss wasn’t long, thank god, and when it was over Jonas snickered.

“Well that’s off the table, then.”

It was Isak’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Bloody idiot! It was never on the table to begin with!”

“Yeah, you’re right. But, you totally kissed like a human.”

Isak realized he had forgotten to pay any attention to the way Jonas kissed. He was not going to ask for a re-run. Especially since Jonas had already confirmed it. Isak kissed like a human.

Of course, Isak wouldn’t have been Isak if he hadn’t made up a problem with that, as well. He kissed like a human. Not like an alpha. Like a human. It was a good thing, considering passing to Even as human, but it really didn’t feel like a good thing in any other possible way.

Isak had been so happy. For those hours - it really had been hours, hours! - he had been kissing Even he had been happy. And now he felt so, so stupid for ever being happy like that.

“Issy?” Jonas wrapped his arms around Isak. Isak let him do that. “Hey. What is it?”

Isak pressed his forehead on Jonas’ shoulder. Jonas smelled like home.

“I’m a fucking mess.”

“You sure are. But it’s okay to be. You’re not alone.”

“Thanks. I almost wish I could blow you as a thank you.”

Jonas snorted.

“I appreciate the thought, I suppose?”

“You often think about me blowing you?”

“24/7. I can barely function.”

Isak giggled a bit.

“You are an idiot.”

“Guilty as charged.”

They stood still for a moment more. Isak just kind of leaned on Jonas. Taking him in. Then Jonas yawned so loud it startled Isak.

“We should go to bed.”

“You go. I’ll stay up for a while more.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Isak smiled. For real.

“I’m a nocturnal animal. I’ll just watch the moon for a bit.”

“Okay. I’ll just play with my phone until you’re ready.”

Five minutes later Jonas was fast asleep in Isak’s bed. Isak sat by the kitchen window, staring at the sky, an ancient longing stirring softly in his chest.


	10. Chapter 10

_ I just can’t understand why he hasn’t contacted me yet. He’s an alpha! If an alpha sees something they want they go for it. _

Isak stared at the dots on his phone, anxiously. He was waiting for Jonas to tell him he was being stupid and that of course Even wanted him, he was probably just busy or something, had been for the past three days.

_ Dude. Seriously. It’s totally rude to give me crap about not considering you an alpha all the time when you forget it yourself like this. _

Isak blushed. Fuck. Jonas was right. He was so super right. Isak was an alpha. He had seen something he wanted, and he totally should go for it.

_ I’m sorry. I’ll do better. _

_ You can start by texting him. Go get him, alpha! _

Jonas completed his message with a wolf emoji. Isak smiled at the screen, just a little bit. Jonas was a fucking treasure, and Isak could only hope to pay him back his kindness and friendship in some way. Not with blowjobs, but somehow. He could start with that text.

_ Want to come over? _

Simple. Short. Straight to the point. Very alpha. Isak’s stomach was tingling a bit after he sent it. He actually did it. He acted like an alpha, just like that. It was intoxicating. Isak licked his lips quickly and turned on his back on the bed. He ran his fingers absentmindedly along his chest and sides, without a purpose. It just felt nice.

While Isak was waiting for Even’s reply, he fiddled with his phone. He wanted to hold on to the alpha feeling. Even gave it to him, he let Isak kiss him and hold him and all those things. He was going to go down on Isak, and maybe he would..no. He wouldn’t. No way an alpha would let anyone mount him. But Jonas was right. They could do so many other things.

Thinking about those things made Isak go semi. He grinned, cheekily, and turned his hand over his groin. He rubbed himself lightly with his palm, gently, teasingly touching himself, until he was all hard. Isak was breathing heavier now, and he pulled his slacks tighter against his hardness. He felt the edges of the imprint with his fingers, pleased. It seemed bigger when it was covered with thick fabric.

He wanted to see it. Maybe it looked like an alpha’s dick? Isak took his phone and turned the front camera on, and after a couple of missed shots he got a picture of it. He looked at it, biting his lip, he traced the outline of the imprint with his finger. It looked alright, really. Actually, quite hot.

Before he could stop himself he had sent the picture to Even. It was a real buzz. The arrogance, the boldness, that was real alpha behaviour. He had sent Even a picture of his dick, because it was obvious Even would appreciate it, because why on Earth wouldn’t he?

It took Even so long to respond Isak was going soft again. But when he read the message, boom, he was hard.

_ Looks yummy. Is it all for me? _

“Holy shit”, Isak breathed. He was so, so hard again, aching and throbbing. He slipped his hand under the waist band and gave himself a little brush, ever so lightly. It was hard to text with just his left hand, but he managed.

_ If you can take it all. _

Fuck. This was incredible. Isak had never in his life been this. Forward. He really liked it. It made him feel powerful. Like an alpha. Even was an alpha himself and he let Isak say these things to him like an omega would. It was hard to believe.

_ Give it to me, daddy. _

Ohhhh fuck. Isak almost dropped the phone, his heart was beating so hard and his hands were shaking. He pushed his hand further in his pants. He pressed his palm over his tip and rubbed, slowly. In small circular movements that made his breath catch in his throat.

_ What would you do with it? _

It was so hard to wait for Even’s response. Isak wanted to grab his dick and just jerk off furiously, to pull an orgasm out of himself, but he needed to pace himself. He wasn’t playing with himself alone, he was playing with Even.

_ I have wanted to suck it for ages. Can I? Please? _

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Isak closed his eyes tight, and pulled his hand out of his pants, and just took some deep, deep breaths. He had to control himself. He needed to. He liked this too much for it to be over so fast.

_ Yes. _

It was all Isak could muster. But at least it was a yes? He was laying on his back on the bed, pulled tight like a string about to break, shaking with the destructive energy built up inside it. He was waiting for Even to pluck at him.

_ I love your taste. I can’t get enough of it. I want to choke on your dick. _

“Fuck! Fuck!” Isak shoved his hand back in and grabbed his dick, he stroked at it fast and hard. He couldn’t help himself, he had to come. He imagined Even’s lips, his delicious, beautiful plump lips, around his dick, moving up and down, and his hot, smooth tongue rubbing at him. The tip of Even’s nose touching his stomach.

Isak came. He came in his pants, and he didn’t care about the mess, or anything really, he almost felt himself knot in his hand. Fuck. Fuck. This was so awesome. So good. Isak surrendered to his orgasm and when it finally released him of its grip he was still gasping.

Fuck.

_ Thank you. _

_ My pleasure. _

Isak closed his eyes and dozed off for a moment. He woke up about half an hour later, with dirty pants and a burning shame on his cheeks. He had been so selfish. Even had just served him and his pleasure. It was so weird. Isak had just made Even, the alpha, his omega. Why didn’t it feel better?

It had felt amazing when it was happening. But now it was over Isak was just ashamed. He wasn’t an alpha. He was a sad excuse of one, at best. No alpha in the history of werewolves had felt like this after a sexting session with anyone, no matter if it was an omega or human or -- well, no alpha in history had probably sexted with another alpha. He was being ridiculous.

It was ridiculous to even think about the possibility of a relationship with Even. It would never work. Even was an alpha, and these little amends he had been making for Isak would run out soon enough.

Isak took his phone to text Jonas. Then he put it away. He had bothered Jonas enough with this for one night. Isak got out of his bed and dragged his ass into the bathroom. He didn’t turn the lights on. It was easier to shower in the dark when he was feeling like this. Isak fumbled his way out of his clothes and to the shower. He felt around the wall until he found the tap and turned the water on.

It was so cold it made him jump and shriek. So very alpha. Not. Fuck, he was a loser, wasn’t he? Trying to make people believe something he didn’t believe himself. Isak adjusted the temperature bit by bit, slowly, until it was nice and warm. He couldn’t tell the difference between the water and the tears running down his face.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, a long one!
> 
> CW: dysphoria, light dom/sub (dom!Isak, sub!Even)
> 
> I hope you like it! It was a tough one to pull out.

Isak left the doctor’s office frustrated, as usual. That stupid quack didn’t understand anything. He kept telling Isak that he couldn’t take that many blockers he was taking, that he was potentially harming himself, blah blah. Well, doc, if you were even a werewolf you’d know better! Isak was the first case of his kind in at least Oslo, probably all Norway, maybe the world, and there weren’t any specialists for him. He had to make do with doctors who expertised in werewolves who wanted to be like humans, and they were all human, because they needed to know what that was like.

They had no idea what it was like to be a werewolf. They knew on paper how keen werewolf senses were, but they had no actual experience on the intensity, the clarity, the precision. Isak could take one sniff at a crowd and he could tell who was a werewolf, who wasn’t, if any female typical bodies were menstruating now or in the near future or past, who was stressed, who was scared, who was horny -- Isak could smell it. He needed to block his omega scent _completely_ and not just mostly.

Isak had argued with his doctor about other things, too. Like any other possible treatment for him. He wanted to build muscle. He wanted his voice to be deeper, booming. He wanted to be able to knot.

Simple things. Things alphas took for granted. Sure, not all alphas were muscular, Even wasn’t, but if Even hit the gym he would bulk up significantly more than Isak ever could. But Isak’s doctor had said he couldn’t help Isak with that. Especially with the knotting. Isak’s penis didn’t have the necessary tissue, and all those nerves and tiny blood vessels made it impossible to transfer the tissue from elsewhere.

Basically, Isak could never get the body he wanted. The body he needed. The body of an alpha.

_How was it?_

Isak stared at the text from Jonas. He dove into a doorway and typed a reply.

_As always. Shit._

Isak closed his eyes and leaned his back on the wall. He needed to calm down. He had to, because he couldn’t collapse or freak out here, out on the street. He had to make it home first, then he could start rolling in his misery. Isak tried to swallow down the lump in his throat, but it refused to budge.

So, he could knot. Just in the wrong place.

Isak tried to form that thought into a oneliner he could send to Jonas, but he couldn’t come up with anything that made sense. Thinking about it helped him calm down, though, at least enough to let him stop shaking. He looked at his phone. Jonas had said something, but Isak didn’t pay attention to it. He had received a message from Even.

_Dude! SOS! Even wants to meet me!_

While waiting for Jonas’ response Isak grabbed a strip of his cuticle between his teeth and pulled it off. It peeled off a bit too far, leaving an annoying little itchy sting.

Jonas replied with five wolf emojis, followed by a fire emoji. Isak rolled his eyes. Jonas was a good guy and he always meant well, but right now Isak really wasn’t in the mood of anything related to his bodily functions and their inadequacy.

But he could meet Even just for the sake of meeting him, maybe?

_Sure. Where?_

Isak stared at the message. He hovered his thumb over it over and over again. He wanted to delete it. He should have deleted it. Then it was too late. Even had read it. He was typing a response. Isak’s head felt dizzy, but his heart felt light and giddy. His legs he couldn’t feel at all.

_My place? I’ll text you the address._

Isak couldn’t come up with an excuse to meet Even anywhere else. And the address wasn’t too far away. Just a tram ride and a little bit of walking. Isak didn’t even text Even to tell he was coming. Even was an alpha. He knew Isak would come.

Isak was already in the tram when Even texted him again.

_So, how about it?_

Isak stared at his phone. That was a question. A genuine, legit question, that understood that there was the possibility of a _no_ out there. That was so not alpha. How was Even doing this? And, more importantly, why? Isak knew Even was an alpha, he had run with him, and wrestled with him in the grass, submitted to him -- Isak covered his mouth. He couldn’t. He couldn’t.

_I’m not ready to have you inside me._

Isak had to be direct. Even was an alpha, and alphas appreciated that. Not having to guess what the omega needed. Sure, Isak wasn’t an omega, not to Even’s knowledge, but the principle was still the same.

_Uhhhhh. That’s cool._

Isak frowned at the message. Even seemed genuinely confused. Wasn’t his invitation about that, then? About mounting him like an alpha did?

 _Can I suck your dick though?_ __  
_I mean. I’d like to._ _  
_ _If that’s okay._

Isak couldn’t reply straight away. His hands were shaking a bit too much for that. He had to take deep, deep breaths and he noticed he’d missed his stop. He got off the tram on the next stop and sat down on the bench.

_Maybe?_

It was the best Isak could do. He didn’t know. He couldn’t tell. How the fuck could he full on refuse _that_ offer? But how could he just accept it, either, now, today? A maybe was all he could do.

Isak checked the map and started walking.

_I just got off the tram. I’m almost there._

Even lived in a big apartment building. There was a little shop in the ground floor. Isak had to search the door to the stairwell for a moment, but he managed to locate it without asking Even. When he opened the door he knew he would find Even’s apartment without checking the numbers or floors. He closed his eyes and sniffed. Fiftfh floor. Windows facing to the courtyard. He was the only werewolf that lived here, but there was a faint scent, almost completely faded, so maybe four days old. Another alpha. Isak was happy it wasn’t an omega.

He took the elevator to the fifth floor. He found Even’s door easily. He was following Even’s scent, and all his hesitation had melted away. He was hunting, and his prey was close by. Isak pressed his finger on the doorbell and waited. His mouth was watering.

The scent flooded over Isak first. Even opened the door and all that delicious smell, Even’s scent, poured in. It reminded Isak of roasted nuts, and toasting bread, but it had a zingy aftertaste that left Isak craving for more. Something like a fresh raspberry, but less fragrant. Isak had smelled Even many times before, but here, in Even’s home, his lair, it was just so, so much stronger.

“Hi?” Even said, tilting his head to the side. Isak blushed. He was supposed to be human! Humans don’t get overwhelmed by scents like this!

“Hi”, Isak mumbled. “Can I come in?”

Even grinned.

“I’d very much like that. Please.” Even stepped to the side and let Isak come inside. The apartment was nice. Two bedrooms, but for some reason the bed was in the living room.

“Do you have a roomie?” Isak couldn’t smell anyone else in here. It wasn’t a real question. Simply an act.

“No, it’s just me. But I have a dark room in there.” Even nodded at the door. Isak raised his brows. A dark room? In an apartment? Impressive.

“You take pictures?”

“I do. And make them, too, by hand. Just for fun, really, I’m not good enough to make a living with it.”

“Can I see some?”

Even seemed a bit restless. Squirmy. Isak could smell why. He smelled Even’s heat, and that made his mouth water. All this smell in here, the alpha’s scent, the pheromones, they were ordering Isak’s body to submit and give in, to surrender. He didn’t want that. It didn’t matter to the omega in him, despite the blockers.

“I’m sorry, what?” Even asked. Isak blinked. He had no idea at first, then he giggled a bit, nervously.

“I asked to see your pictures. But it’s clear it’s not why I’m here now, isn’t it?”

Even rubbed at the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“You’re the one who got my mind on the dirt track.”

Isak grinned. He liked it. Taking the initiative. Like an alpha would. He could do this, if he just held on to that feeling. If he kept the reigns in his hands. He stepped closer to Even, still grinning.

“You like it on the dirt track, don’t you?”

Even blushed. But nodded. Isak raised his hand and touched the flushed skin on Even’s cheek.

“Are you a bad dog?”

Even closed his eyes. Isak’s belly felt heavy and warm. His mouth was wet and his throat dry at the same time. He swallowed, slowly. He had never done anything like this, but he wanted to try. For some reason, with Even it felt like he could.

“Yes”, Even exhaled in a heated sigh. Isak could smell Even liked this. Maybe that was why he was so comfortable to try things out? He could immediately tell if Even liked them.

Isak licked his lips slowly. He leaned in closer. Even kept his eyes closed, his face tilted a bit down, in a gesture of submission. Isak’s cheek barely touched Even’s. His lips almost touched Even’s ear.

“Down, boy.”

Isak had never, never ever in his life, heard of an alpha who liked to submit. It was. Unnatural. But then again, Isak himself was just that. Even made a low, grunting sound, and dropped on his knees. He pressed his face against Isak’s groin.

“You smell so hot”, Even mumbled. Isak bit his lip to keep himself from freaking out. He had taken an extra blocker today, he didn’t smell like an omega. He didn’t. Nothing implied he did, Even’s actions the least. “I could just sniff at you all day.”

Isak laughed. He placed his hand on Even’s head. Even’s hair was so soft and bouncy.

“Where’s my fun in that?”

Isak let his fingers slide on the back of Even’s head. He pulled, just a bit, and pushed his hips forward. Even’s moan was suffocated, but Isak could hear it easily. All his senses were heightened. He let go of Even, and as he stepped back Even leaned forward. Isak chuckled.

“You really want to blow me, don’t you?”

“Yes”, Even mumbled, rubbing his face on Isak. His lips wrapped around the hard on and fondled at it eagerly. “Can I? Please?”

Isak didn’t have the heart to say no. Nor self control.

“Fuck yes.” Isak licked his lips again. He wiped the gleam sweat off his top lip. “Heel.”

They both blushed. This was just so naughty of them. For an alpha to be ordered around like that, a proper werewolf alpha, commanded like a dog. Isak walked the long route to the bed, circling as far as the room allowed him, and Even crawled just behind his leg on his hands and knees.

Isak stopped by the bed. He turned so it was behind him. Even sat on his heels in front of him, looking hungry. Isak bent down and took Even’s face between his hands. He kissed Even.

Roasted nuts. A hint of raspberry. A handful of heat.

While they were kissing Even undid Isak’s jeans and pulled them down. Isak stood there, bent down into a kiss, his jeans around his ankles and his underwear bulging. He didn’t even remember his earlier despair. He was simply happy.

Isak pulled away from the kiss. He let Even sit and watch as he pushed his thumbs under the waistband of his underwear. Isak eased it down slowly, bit by bit, letting their heat grow. Even smelled better and better. When Isak pulled his underwear all the way down his own scent mixed with Even’s. He couldn’t smell a hint of omega anywhere.

Isak sat down on the bed. He leaned back on his elbow and pushed his hips forward, so his ass was just on the very edge. He spread his knees to make room for Even between them. This felt so hot and dirty, his pants were still on his ankles, he was still wearing his shirt.

“Now?” Even begged. Isak nodded. He was panting already, he couldn’t take any more waiting.

“Yes. Blow me.”

Even scooted over between Isak’s legs and opened his mouth. He grabbed the shaft gently and licked at it, all over. The wet touches of his tongue made Isak’s dick twitch. Isak leaned back and looked down, at Even’s head. He could see mostly hair. So, he pushed his fingers in it and turned Even’s face a bit to the side.

“That’s better. So pretty.”

Even hummed happily in response. He gave one more long lick, from the root to the tip, his tongue flat and sideways, and took the tip between his lips. Isak moaned, louder and higher than he had expected to, the noise just pushed out of him. He was being blown by the hottest alpha in town. His dick was inside the mouth of an alpha. It was weird. It was wrong. It was spectacular.

Isak had thought he wanted an omega of his own. But now he was quite happy with the alpha. With the ease he felt with him. Even wasn’t someone Isak could start a family and build a nest with, but he was perfect for right now. His tongue worked expertedly on Isak’s dick, and because Isak was an omega he was on the smaller side. Even could fit all of him in his mouth with relative ease.

Isak couldn’t keep watching Even anymore. He leaned back on his both elbows now, his head bent back, his chest heaving. It was so good. Even made him forget all of his issues with his body. It wasn’t inadequate, it was just right. It was something Even found pleasurable to play with, and that meant it was perfect.

It was so fucking liberating to be able to forgive your body, even for the briefest moment.

Isak let that rush carry him all the way to the top. He grabbed Even’s head and kept his head down, and he came in his mouth with hard, long squirts. When his orgasm was over Isak didn’t as much let go of Even’s hair as his fingers just kind of dripped out of it. He had melted into a puddle on this bed.

Even crawled up on the bed beside him. Isak turned slowly on his side so he could face him.

“Thank you”, Isak whispered. “I really needed that.”

Even was smiling.

“My pleasure. You have a tasty dick.”

Isak blushed. He bit his lip for a moment.

“It’s not. Too small?”

Even shook his head.

“No. It’s perfect. It fills my mouth without choking me, and I can’t wait to get it inside me. I love riding smaller dicks, they don’t hurt at all.”

Wait. What?

“You..love riding dicks?”

Even raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

“Yeah?”

“But. You’re an alpha, aren’t you?”

“And?” Now Even sounded taken aback. He even sat up.

Isak didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to insult Even, on top of offending him.

“I just thought that all alphas were --”

“Well I’m not _all alphas_ now am I?” Even got up on his feet and walked to the kitchen. “You’d better leave. I’m too wired up now, I’ll say something I don’t mean any second now.”

Isak blinked to get rid of his tears. He pulled up his pants and walked to the door.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“I know, I know. It’s cool, really, I just need to jerk off furiously and take a cold shower. I’ll text you tonight, okay?”

Isak pulled his shoes on.

“Okay.” His voice was just a peep. Very alpha, Issy. “It wasn’t the ordering around, right?”

“Fucking loved that. Now go. Please. Trust me.”

That was so, so much to ask for. But Isak had to. He had to trust Even, he thought, walking down the stairs. Because he sure as hell couldn’t trust himself.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short. So much dialogue! But I love these idiots!

Jonas fell on his back on the couch with a sigh. He rested his head on Isak’s lap, and both of them kind of noticed how weird it was to have this familiar position reversed. But Jonas needed Isak, this time round, and Isak was going to be there for him.

“I’m a fucking idiot”, Jonas grunted, frustrated. Isak nodded.

“Anyone who thinks they can get away with cheating on their girl with her friend is an idiot.”

Jonas glared at Isak.

“Supportive, bro.”

“Just saying how it is. You are an idiot, and I’m a bit disappointed in your level of stupid.”

“Isak. Please.”

Isak blinked himself out of it. Jonas needed him.

“It’s okay, man. We both know I’m the biggest idiot in the room.”

“More like in the country”, Jonas chuckled. Then he sighed, again. “What the fuck do I do now?”

“Which girl do you want to be with? Ingrid or Eva?”

“Obviously both! That’s the problem here!”

Isak grabbed a cushion and hit Jonas with it.

“Bad Jonas!”

Jonas stole the cushion from Isak and hugged it tightly.

“I don’t know? I like them both for different reasons.”

“Do they like you back?”

“After this mess, I don’t know.” Jonas kept sighing. If he continued that at this pace he would start exhaling more than he was inhaling, and that would prove to be a problem

“Apologize to both of them. The odds are only one of them forgives you. If you’re lucky. Keep the girl who is willing to take back your stupid ass, and never cheat on her again unless you want her to dump you.”

“Can’t I just pretend this never happened?”

Isak hit him with the cushion again.

“Not an option. You screwed up. Now be a man and accept the consequences.”

“Speaking of.”

“No.”

“How’s Even?”

“Stop immediately. Do you have any idea how hard I’m working here to focus on  _ your _ problems for a change? HARD.”

“So, Even is har--”

Isak whacked Jonas with the cushion. In the face.

“Do you want me to kick you out as well? Hm?”

Jonas shook his head. And stole the cushion from Isak, and shoved it under his head.

“Dick barrier. Because we’re gonna talk about Even now.”

Isak stared at Jonas for a moment. What a fucking idiot!

“Remind me, why are we friends, again?”

“Because we have no sexual chemistry?”

Isak rolled his eyes so hard it almost hurt. Jonas was such a pain in the ass. But Isak had now officially tried, like, really really tried, and he wasn’t going to pry.

“I haven’t heard from Even since the last time.”

“When you labeled him as an alpha?”

“Thank you for the reminder.” As if Isak needed one. He remembered painfully well what had happened with Even. Every single word. “Why hasn’t he texted me?”

“Why haven’t you texted him?”

“Because he’s mad at me! Potentially. Possibly. Likely.”

“So, now that Ingrid and Eva are mad at me, your advice is to not contact them in days?”

“My advice is to keep it in your fucking pants, moron.”

“Seems solid.”

“Even through the barrier? Impressive perception.”

Jonas almost rolled down on the floor from laughing so hard. Isak joined him. It felt good to laugh at something pointless and stupid. It was a breath of fresh air in Isak’s dark chambers.

“You know I have seen you naked. No offense.”

“Even likes small dicks. He likes riding them.”

“Uh. Dude. TMI, much? Also, why hasn’t he ridden yours yet?”

Isak pouted a bit.

“Because I haven’t texted him.”

“Your teenage self would kick you in the shin right now, just saying.”

“My current self is really putting in an effort to not kick you. Just saying.”

“You know what. Let’s text them and apologize. Right now. Like a pact thing.”

“Suicide pact.”

Jonas nudged at Isak’s shoulder.

“Don’t be like that! He’s just a guy. Who likes you.”

“What if I say something that makes him stop liking me?”

“Trust me on this, bro. You have said plenty already.”

Isak had to admit Jonas had a point. He had been an idiot and an asshole more than once, and Even still seemed keen to give him a chance. So, the least he could do, was to ask for one.

“You’re the one getting up to fetch our phones.”

Jonas groaned. But he obeyed. When he got back Isak took his phone and promptly checked if Even had texted him. He hadn’t. But Jonas was right, he had some apologizing to do.

_ I really am sorry about last time. I like you a lot but I’m nervous, and when I’m nervous I say stupid shit. Ask anyone. _

Isak didn’t let Jonas read the message. Jonas had to take his word for it. Isak didn’t see the messages Jonas wrote, either, but they both could sense in the mood that they had written what they were supposed to.

Now all they could do was wait for an answer.

Isak got the first one. He read the message and blushed. He squirmed a bit on the couch, and Jonas laughed.

“It’s cool. You can go to him. Can I hang here for a while?”

“Sure.” Isak was already up on his feet. Even’s words were burnt into his brain, he barely noticed what he was saying or doing.

_ Want to come over and make up for it? _

He wanted to. He wanted to so bad. Isak grabbed his keys and his wallet, put his shoes on, took his hoodie and practically ran out the door. He was well on his way before he realized he hadn’t replied. He texted a hasty  _ On my way _ and hurried his steps.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up. Isak will get fucked by Even, and he will like it a lot, and it's the hottest sex I have written in a while. But.
> 
> Afterwards Isak will be very upset. I will address that in the next chapter. Just thought you should know things will take a turn to bad at the very last moment of this one.

Isak noticed the scent the moment he entered the building. It just got stronger and stronger as he ascended the stairs. It made his mouth water, his head spin and his underwear feel tight. Either Even had just had sex, or been in a fight, or the approximity of the full moon was amping up his alpha hormones. Isak wanted to turn back from Even’s door. This was too much for him, he was too turned on, he should go home before something would happen.

Even opened the door. He had smelled Isak coming. Isak looked at him, frozen on his tracks, shaking a bit. Even’s scent filled up all his senses. It turned him on so hard it turned his brains off. And the way Even looked at him made it clear to Isak that Even could smell his heat, too.

“Fuck”, Isak whispered.

Poor choice of words.

Isak wasn’t sure which one of them moved first. They attacked each other with a kiss, that was so rushed and needy it was almost violent. Isak tried to shove himself through Even’s skin, so their bodies could join into one. Isak wanted to be one with Even. He wanted nothing more. He wanted nothing else.

“Inside”, Isak mumbled.

Yet again, a master with words. Even made a grunt that was so low it sounded like growling. His chest vibrated with the sound, and Isak’s knees turned into jelly. Fuck. Fuck. He was in trouble. He loved trouble. Even wrapped his arms around Isak and pulled him with him into the apartment. Isak pulled the door closed behind himself. The lock clicked, and Even shoved Isak’s back against the door.

“Oh!” Isak squeaked. High pitched, excited. A wave of pleasure rushed through him, and as Even pushed his knee between Isak’s thighs Isak spread his legs a bit. His own thigh pressed against Even’s crotch. What he felt in there made him gasp at first, then pant. It was so big. Not too much, but compared to his -- it was big. Isak needed every last bit of it.

Even’s tongue invaded Isak’s mouth. Isak welcomed it warmly. His own tongue rubbed against it, danced with it, his palm eased its way between Even’s legs and stroked at the bulge slowly. Fuck it felt hot. Isak had to see it. He had to have it.

Fuck, Even smelled nice. Isak wanted more of that. His grasping hands found the hem of Even’s shirt and grapped it with a purpose. Isak pulled the garment off Even and threw it away, somewhere, he didn’t care. Isak slammed himself against the canvas of Even’s bare chest, pressing his cheek on the warm skin.

“Growl. Please.” Isak couldn’t form full sentences anymore. Not since he entered this building. Things like speaking had made way for more primal instincts.

Even growled. His whole chest boomed and shook with the power of that sound. It made Isak whimper hungrily. His lips moved, barely, his mouth opened and opened, he pushed his tongue out and licked Even’s chest with great greed. Isak’s fingers ran along the skin, from the collarbones down, down, down, taking a turn to Even’s sides and then his hips, where they met the path of the waistband. They took it, they followed it to the button and the zipper and undid them.

That gave Isak’s hand just enough space to slip into Even’s underwear. He was still licking on Even’s skin, his chest, collarbones, the nest between them. The side of his neck. Short little flicks of his tongue, tasting the slight saltiness of skin, all the while his fingers examined the treasure they had just discovered.

It was so big. It was so hard. Isak’s fingers brushed at it all over, to determine the size, the shape, from the curly hair at the root to the moist glistening tip. The scent was stronger now. Isak didn’t know that was possible. His senses were already overloaded.

“Take me”, Isak moaned. It wasn’t speaking anymore, it was more like a short bark, or a cry. A need turned into sound. Isak yanked his hand back to himself and peeled his shirt off. His chest was heaving. It was pushing itself towards Even.

Even took one look at Isak. His puffy lips slightly open, his eyes huge and dark, his hair a ruffled mess. His chest bare, his pants open. Isak knew he paled in comparison, but right now, in this state, he didn’t care. He wanted Even to take him. He kept asking for it, maybe, he made some sort of whiny little barks and kept licking his lips.

Finally Even made up his mind. He grabbed Isak’s wrists and yanked at them, making Isak fall into him with a delighted yelp. They kissed their way to the bed. They groped each other out of the rest of their clothes. Isak fell on his back on the bed and spread his legs as wide as he could. His own dick was hard and tight, and from the way Even was looking at it Isak was worried he might mount it and go for a ride. Isak needed something else more. He grabbed his legs from behind his knees, whining again.

The flash Isak saw in Even’s eyes made it clear. Even was not going to ride him now. Isak felt something wet on his face. He wiped it with his thumb and realized he was drooling. He was so horny he had forgotten about basic humanity. He whined louder, harder, he turned his hips so his ass was more available for Even.

Even took a condom. It was made especially for werewolves. Extra durable, extra hold, extra room for semen. Isak wiped his face again. He couldn’t stop drooling. It was Even’s scent, his beautiful hard dick, they made his mouth water. Even pulled the condom on and crawled on the bed between Isak’s legs. Isak jumped when he felt the slightly cool, slick wetness of the lube between his buttocks. Even used a lot of it. It made Isak feel wet like a bitch.

He spread his legs a bit further more. Even grabbed his thighs and yanked him closer. Even rubbed his dick between Isak’s wet cheeks to make it slick all over. Isak closed his eyes when he finally felt the tip press against his hole. It was so big. Isak wanted it so bad. He kept making that sound, excited and tiny, and he knew hearing that sound made Even’s lust more intense, just like Even growling made him --

Even growled again. Louder this time, it made Isak’s body tremble with the sonic boom of it. Isak shook in its grip, and while he was distracted by it, Even pushed himself inside. It still hurt, a bit, but the fulfillment of being finally taken overrode it. Isak clinged to Even’s back. He dug his fingernails in Even’s shoulder blades and howled as he felt the thick, hard dick slide into him with no resistance.

Isak wrapped his legs around Even’s waist at first, but that restrained his movements too much. He needed to really ram into Isak, and Isak needed him to do just that. Take him. Fuck him. Every push, every slide, every stroke inside Isak filled him up in a way nothing ever had.

They kept at it for what felt like hours. Even’s back was more scratches than skin, Isak’s throat was hoarse from all the screaming and moaning, and the air was thick with their heat. Then Isak noticed something different about Even. His movements were less determined. He was stumbling, and Isak knew why, and he couldn’t wait. He lifted his ass a bit higher, taking Even in a bit deeper, and when the hot alpha on top of him raised his face up into a howl of climaxing Isak came all over his own stomach.

Even didn’t pull out. When Isak came to from his orgasm he could feel why. Even had knotted inside him. The bulge was huge, but it fit his body, it didn’t hurt, it just. Filled him. It pressed his insides in places that made his body fill up with hormones, strengthening the pleasure of the afterglow and the bond Isak was now forming with Even.

Isak’s eyes watered up. He covered his mouth to suffocate a sob. Even opened his eyes and looked at him, his chest against Isak’s chest, his face so close to Isak’s. He looked worried.

Isak sniffled. He felt his face get wet again, this time with tears. He wanted to push Even off and run away, run home and cry his heart out, but he couldn’t.

He was stuck.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I got to this scene! I hope you like it.

Isak’s heart was galloping in a panicked rush. It tried to escape this bed, since Isak himself couldn’t, but try as it might, it couldn’t beat its way out through Isak’s chest. It couldn’t run away. Neither could Isak. He was stuck here, stuck with Even in the most intimate way possible. Like an omega to an alpha.

It was the worst thing Isak had ever experienced in his life.

And it was the most perfect thing.

Had he been wrong all along?

Was he an omega after all? Had he just needed to find the right alpha?

Isak couldn’t breathe. He was gasping, but no air seemed to flow anywhere. He was shaking, he was dying, and he couldn’t move.

Something touched his forehead. It felt heavy and warm, and it made Isak look outside instead of inside. He saw a pair of blue eyes. They looked worried.

“Hey. What is it?” Even spoke softly, so softly Isak had difficulties hearing him over the beat of his heart. Isak opened his mouth and closed it again, he had no voice, he had no breath.

Even took his face between his hands. His fingers were long and strong. They cradled Isak’s head and held on. Held Isak’s head together.

“You’re having a panic attack. It’s okay. You’re not dying.”

Isak didn’t understand. That sounded ridiculous. A panic attack? That was so fucking --

That was so  _ omega. _

Isak made a little sound. Barely. Even shushed him gently.

“It will pass. Just hang on and breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out.”

Even kept breathing in a slow, steady pace, he kept speaking, in and out, in and out. After a little while Isak noticed he had started to follow Even’s lead. He was breathing again. He was calming down. He wasn’t dying.

He just wished he was.

Isak’s eyes snapped open.

_ He just wished he was. _ Fuck.

Isak tried to squirm a bit, to see if he could break free from the knot, but there was no way. He was stuck. And the hormones flowing through his body just got a boost from that little movement, pushing the knot against those spots harder, and to his horror Isak noticed he was starting to feel like he could trust Even.

“I’m a werewolf”, Isak heard himself confess. “I’m on blockers but I’m a werewolf.”

Even brushed at Isak’s cheek with his fingers.

“I wouldn’t have knotted inside you if you weren’t.”

“You could tell?” Isak inhaled so sharply he almost swallowed his words. But they pushed out of his mouth. Even looked at him, and the blue in his eyes got slightly darker.

“Can’t you?”

Isak closed his eyes and bit his lip. How could he have been this stupid? He could tell easily, he could smell the werewolves who had suppressed their scent to pass as human. He just ignored that faint trace, because he had fucking manners, and interacted with them like they were actual people.

Unlike Even. He knotted inside him.

“Why did you knot in me? That’s -- that’s more than rude. That’s hostile.” The hardest part was thinking that Even could do something like that. Something that. Well. Evil. Dismissive. Erasing.

“But --” Even looked confused. He pushed himself up on his elbows, so he could really look at Isak. His face looked weird. Not evil, or defensive. Scared and worried? Scorried? “I thought that. I mean. I could smell you from the street. And I’ve run with you, and. I thought you were okay with this.”

“How could you possibly think I’d be okay with this? Just based on a smell?”

“Isak. From the moment you came in all I can smell is you. The werewolf. The omega werewolf. It’s really, really, really different to any other time, except on the night of running when you ran with me.”

Isak frowned. Even wasn’t making any sense.

“I took my blockers before coming here.” He had taken a doubled dose, actually. But. Now that he thought of it, really thought of it, this time had been different for him, too. His body had taken control over him, and forced him to submit to the omega his body was, and the more Isak thought of it, the more upset it made him. He realised he was crying when he felt the side of his neck get wet.

“Shit! I’m so sorry! I never would have -- I swear. Please believe me.”

Isak was too busy trying to keep himself together. He couldn’t give Even any absolution right now. He smelled like an omega? His body was filled with omega hormones? It felt wrong. And at the same time he couldn’t deny the pleasure he had felt, surrendering to Even, the alpha, nor the pleasure he was feeling right now, enjoying the knot inside him.

Fuck.

Now Isak was really crying. He was shaking and shuddering, sobbing, he was lying in the bed under Even and crying his heart out. Even looked puzzled, and worried, and sorry. But Isak couldn’t help him, not now, all he could do was bawl.

He was too exhausted to keep at it for long. Ugly-crying after a panic attack was really hard work, and soon enough it simmered down into simple sniffles. Isak wiped his face with his palms.

“I really am sorry”, Even said, again. “I should have at least asked.”

Isak shook his head. It wasn’t fair, he had to tell Even. This guy had been nothing short of amazing with him from day one. He deserved to know, and Isak really needed to tell.

“It’s not that. I’m not crying because of you or what you did.”

Isak turned his head to the side. He couldn’t look at Even now. And he wanted to bare his neck to the alpha, because fuck you Isak, with love, your body.

“Why, then?” Even sounded so quiet. Insecure, even. That wasn’t all that alpha.

“I can never have this”, Isak sighed. “Not like this. Not properly.”

Even made a sound to indicate a question. Isak sighed again, deeper. He nudged his hips a bit, and the rush of pleasure forced his eyes closed. The rush ran onto shore at the back of his throat, forming a big, hard lump.

“This. I can never knot inside an omega.” It simply wasn’t possible. Nobody could build him an alpha dick, capable of knotting. He would never have a real bond with an omega, never in his life. All he ever wanted was a real family with an omega of his own, and now he had to accept the cold, sharp fact that it was impossible.

He could never have a real, full life, that was truly his. Truly him.

That hurt so fucking much Isak almost had another panic attack. He probably would have, if he had any strenght left for it. But he didn’t have it. He was empty.

Even touched his face very lighttly. It was also a question, that feather of a touch.

“I’m. Wrong. That’s the most accurate way I can put it. I’m wrong.”

Isak covered his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. He was so tired. He was so sick of this shit. Being wrong.

Even was quiet for a long time. When Isak peeked at him through his cracked eyelids he saw that Even looked sad. He looked heartbroken, but not like someone who was hurting. He looked devastated for Isak.

That was so not like an alpha.

For a second, the briefest moment, a blink of an eye, the pause between two heartbeats, Isak thought that Even knew what he was talking about from experience. That moment was filled with terrible hope. Even had knotted inside him. Had he found a way. But that moment was over as soon as it arrived. As it passed, it yanked a raspy sob out of Isak.

“I’m so sorry”, Even said. He sounded sincere. He looked sincere, too. Isak believed him.

“I really am an alpha”, Isak peeped. He was so ridiculous.No alpha cried like this. No alpha had a knot inside him. No alpha smelled like Isak did. His whole being was in contradiction to what he was, and that broke his heart.

Even pressed his forehead on Isak’s. He looked Isak in the eye.

“You are. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? Giving me treats works!

Isak squirmed a bit under Even. That made them both jump. Even chuckled, a bit darkly.

“You have to stop doing that or we’re never going to get unstuck.”

Isak glared at Even.

“Easy for you to say! I’m the one being squished for hours here.”

Even kissed him. Probably to shut him up. And to Isak’s irritation, it worked.

“It’s not all bad, though, is it?”

Isak was pouting. Because Even both was right and wasn’t.

“I don’t mind spending time bonding with you. But other than that? This is pretty much torture to me.” Isak sighed. He was so far bonded with Even he had no secrets from him anymore. He had heard that this could happen sometimes, that their bodies wanted to be joined so much they refused to let go. Isak’s eyes were welling again. He would never make any omega feel like this. “You know? I’m almost mad at you.”

Even looked confused.

“I really am sorry about this. So, so sorry.”

Isak shook his head and wiped his eyes.

“No, not about that. Or yes, yes about that, but also. I mean. You’re an alpha. You can have the life I have always wanted, in vain, and then you just. Choose not to live like that.” Isak is playing with Even’s skin, tickling at his collarbones with his fingertips. His whispering reducing into a peep. “It’s not fair.”

Even pursed his lips.

“Want to know what’s not fair? You acting like you know anything about me and judging me based on that.”

Isak closed his eyes. Even wasn’t fighting fair. Didn’t he understand how much Isak was going through right now?

“An alpha is supposed to take care of the omega”, Isak whispered. He knew he was contradicting himself but he was allowed to, he was having a serious crisis here. He needed support.

“Just so you know, if I could, I’d be getting out of this bed right now. But I can’t.”

Isak bit his lip. And nudged his hips. The knot was still there, and it still sent a rush that Isak really needed, although also hated.

“I asked you to stop that.”

“I’m sorry,” Isak whined. “I just checked.”

“No you didn’t. You deliberately ignored me asking you to stop, and to be honest, that’s kind of making you seem like a real dick.”

Isak really, really wished he could deny any of that. But he couldn’t. He was being a real dick. And that thought stung. Nobody wanted to face their own dickery, and this very moment was an especially nasty one for that.

But Isak couldn’t help thinking, that Even hadn’t done anything to emphasize their bodies were stuck ever since Isak told him the truth. Isak could pay that courtesy back, that’s not too much to ask for.

“I’m sorry. It’s. I’m just. Ever since I saw you at the club I’ve been thinking about you, and you’re an alpha, and that’s really fucked me up.”

“Why?”

Isak opened his eyes and looked at Even. He looked serious. He wasn’t kidding.

“Because you are an alpha? And when we fuck this happens?” Isak didn’t move his hips now. Maybe he was a dick, but he wasn’t an idiot.

Though the way Even was looking at him right now was making him feel like both.

“Do you actually listen to anything I tell you, or do you just wait for your turn to speak?”

Isak remembered. It had happened just hours ago, and still it felt like a different lifetime. His conversation with Jonas, about what a dick Isak had been and how Even was now mad at him, and here he was, making Even mad again for exactly the same reason.

While being stuck to his dick.

Well, that was getting awkward.

Isak had to take a moment to really think about what he was going to say next. His head was swimming with emotions. Regret. Embarrassment. Defensiveness. Hope. Dangerous, dangerous hope. Because Even was incredible, and based on the things he had said it seemed if not likely, then at least possible, that he might be Isak’s regardless of their biology. That chance made Isak feel a bit dizzy.

“Even --” Isak whispered, but couldn’t continue. He was getting overwhelmed, and he had to blink his eyes dry. “It’s just. It’s so hard to believe that you might.”

“Be a shitty alpha?” Even was still a bit prickly, but significantly less so. He was looking at Isak again.

“No! That’s not what I -- well -- that is what I have said.” Isak sighed, his shoulder slumping. He was fucking this up, royally. Jonas would kick his ass for this. “I really am sorry. I don’t want to offend you, I like you.”

Oops. Stupid hormones and bonding! But it was true. Isak liked Even, and since Even didn’t seem to take it too negatively Isak was encouraged to repeat it. He was too shy to look into Even’s eyes as he spoke, but at least he was speaking.

“I really, really like you. Not just because we’re bonding, I have liked you for ages now.”

Even brushed a strand of hair off Isak’s forehead.

“But you don’t want to be my omega.”

Isak squeezed his eyes shut.

“I can’t. No matter how good this feels I can’t do this ever again, I don’t want it. It’s not me.”

“Very well, then.”

Even doesn’t continue. Isak desperately needs him to. He opens his eyes and looks up, and Even is looking so soft and gentle.

“Please.”

“I mean, if you can’t be my omega, then you won’t me. But you could, perhaps, consider being my partner?”

Partner. Isak liked the sound of that. It wasn’t too serious, like  _ boyfriend _ or something, just a partner. In crime. In whatever. Sex partner. Dance partner. Running partner.

“Yes.”

“Yes, you would consider?”

“No.”

Even laughed.

“Now you’re sending mixed signals.”

That made Isak chuckle. And that made him move, and that made them both close their eyes for a moment. Fuck, that felt nice. Now that Isak knew he wasn’t expected to be doing this ever again he kind of felt like he could enjoy this a bit, while it lasted.

“I mean, I would like to be your partner. Considering stuff isn’t really my thing.”

“I’ve come to notice that.”

Even kissed him. Isak kissed him back. It tasted different now, that the despair had been diluted. It tasted like promises. Future. Isak made a little moaning sound on Even’s lips, and Even grabbed his face from both sides and kissed him harder.

Isak grabbed Even’s body with his legs.

“Roll over”, he whispered, turning his face away from the kiss. “Your turn to be squished.”

Even wrapped his arms around Isak and flipped them both. Isak had to just lie there on top of Even, shaking. Then he kissed Even one more time and pushed himself upward until he was sitting on Even’s hips. Even still inside him, still fully knotted. He looked down at Even’s flushed cheeks and parted lips, and he tried rocking his hips just a bit.

“Holy fuck!”

They both gasped. They both laughed, a little, confused but delighted chuckle.

“I didn’t know it worked like that. Did you?”

“First time for me. I think I’m still cumming, too.”

Isak kind of wished they weren’t using protection so he could feel Even flow inside him, this one time. But they were, so he couldn’t, and he never would. He nugded his hips again.

“It feels really good”, Isak whispered. “Like.  _ I could come from this _ -good.”

“Please”, Even moaned. “Feel free to try.”

“You sure? It doesn’t feel weird?”

Even laughed. He looked so happy. He was so beautiful it made Isak’s heart ache.

“I’m sure. Use me to make yourself come. It’d be an honor to watch.”

Isak nodded, biting his lip. Okay. This was okay. This was just for this one time, and it didn’t mean Isak was Even’s omega, or anyone’s, it just meant that Even was making him feel really good. Isak placed his hands on Even’s hands that were resting on his thighs, closed his eyes and started rocking his hips in tiny little nudges. There wasn’t room for big motions, just small ones, sharp little pulls, that made Isak whimper and whine. He wasn’t getting hard himself, and the way his limp, small dick tapped against his inner thigh with every thrust was kind of turning him on even more.

It felt so good. Even’s knot was pushing at places Isak didn’t know he had inside him. Or he was aware of their existence, but he had never stimulated them like this. He hadn’t dared to, scared that it would make him less of an alpha. But Even didn’t seem to think it would, and right this very moment Isak trusted him.

Isak’s whole body tensed up, shaking. Then it relaxed, and Isak slumped on top of Even, sweaty and exhausted and satisfied. Even stroked his back softly.

“Did you come?”

Isak shook his head. He couldn’t speak. He had to gather himself and his thoughts for a bit, first.

“I’m not sure. It was. Different.”

“It looked incredible.”

Isak snuggled a bit closer against Even. He felt Even slip out of him, finally, and clinged to the man under him instinctively. He didn’t want to let go just yet. Even didn’t ask him to.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: violence without major injuries, I'll describe what happens in the end notes in case you want to take a peek first

Isak swirled the pills on his palm with his thumb. According to Even he still smelled like an omega, so he had been taking a double dose just in case the blockers had lost their effect. It was the night of running tonight, and Isak didn’t want to go. Even had asked him to run with him, but he wasn’t ready. Not after what happened. As a wolf he would be an omega, and he would love it, and. It was too soon.

It was just that the amount of pills was a bit scary. Usually he just took them, but now he had stopped to really look at them. He had tripled the dose today. He wanted to try staying human tonight. The night of running. It was probably bad for him. But the alternative was worse. Isak opened his mouth, closed his eyes and pressed his palm on his lips.

Isak gathered his things, mainly his phone, his charger and his pills, with a pair of spare underwear and a fresh shirt, into a backpack and headed out to Even’s place. They had agreed that Isak waited there for morning, and for Even to return. Isak wanted to wake up with him, and take a shower with him, and listen to him telling how beautiful the moon had been through a wolf’s eyes.

Isak remembered the night he had run with Even. It had been incredible. And it wouldn’t happen ever again. Isak would be on his blockers for the rest of his life now. Or until they found an actual cure. That wouldn’t be likely, unless it would be stumbled upon during some other research. So, there was hope, if slim.

He let that hope carry him all the way to Even’s place. The sun was starting to set, and Isak could hear the moon right under the horizon. He could almost smell it. The pale moonlight, the hint of rock and a glimmer of silver. Isak hurried inside to get away from it. The wolf inside him, the omega, was stirring.

“Hey”, Even hummed, giving Isak a short kiss. Isak could taste it in Even’s mouth. The animal. The call of the wild. It was particularly strong this month. Isak didn’t remember how it had been last time, the first full moon after he had been running and taken blockers instead. Maybe it was always like this.

“Hey. You’re probably leaving soon?”

Even nodded, his nose rubbing on Isak’s nose.

“Yeah. I need to run already to make it out of the city in time.”

“Mmh.” Isak rubbed his face all over Even’s face, sniffing him. He smelled like an alpha, and he smelled like Even through that. Isak was almost shaking. It was just the moon. And the thought of Even running without him. He would find an omega there, a proper omega who would surrender to him all night. Isak was feeling unbearably jealous.

“I’ll be home right after dawn. You try to get some sleep, okay?”

Isak nodded. His face was still touching Even’s. He didn’t want to let go. He was feeling Even’s pull so strong, his body was gravitating towards Even’s, and it was making the air around them dense.

“Did you take your blockers?” Even asked quietly. Isak almost growled at him.

“Of course I did! I need them. I can’t turn, not now.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”

Even’s fingers brushed at the back of Isak’s neck. Isak sighed, fiddling with the hem of Even’s shirt. He really wanted to just rip it off Even and throw himself at his skin. There wasn’t time.

“It’s cool.” Isak sighed. He was a pitiful alpha. So needy. Ridiculous. But he had all night to beat himself up over it. Even was in a hurry. Isak peeled himself away from Even, wrapping his own arms around himself. “You should go.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright? My instincts are telling me to stay.”

“Yes, yes. Tell your instincts to chill. If I need anything I can call Jonas, he knows what night it is.”

“He’s a good friend.”

“The best”, Isak agreed. He kissed Even one more time, quickly. “Now go. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Isak hurried to the window to watch Even run. He was fast. His legs were so long. His shadow reached almost the end of the street, the sun was already so low. It was just about to set. It was so-and-so that Even would make it out of the city in time, but Isak wasn’t too worried. He trusted Even.

Isak stayed by the window, watching the sun set. The colours were beautiful. The whole sky was painted crimson, orange and purple, until they faded to the indigo of the night. Isak was stepping back when something called him. He had seen a hint of silver in the corner of his eye, and he turned to look at the rising moon.

 

The asphalt was hard under his paws. The walls of the buildings around him were so high, towering all the way up into the sky. Everything smelled wrong. He couldn’t smell grass, or trees. All he could smell was people, and that scent made his heart pound harder. It frightened him. He was feeling dizzy, and disoriented, and lost. Where was he?

Where was he?

Isak walked slowly and quietly. His nails scraped on the street. It almost hurt. His ears were turning here and there, nervous, scanning for sounds. It was quiet. All the doors around him were closed. It was the night of running. And something was very wrong.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Isak didn’t really understand the words. He understood the sentiment. He could hear the anger. He turned around and saw two men, armed with hockey sticks, approach him. One of them was holding something bright in his hand. It made Isak’s eyes sting if he tried to look directly at it. He backed down, lowering his head, his ears pressed down and his tail between his legs.

The men said something. They were still angry. Isak kept retreating, but the alleyway was a dead end. There was nowhere to go. Isak started pacing back and forth by the back wall, keeping his eyes on the men. He could smell the sting of the alcohol in their breath, and the adrenaline in their blood. Isak didn’t understand what was going on. Why he was here. He couldn’t remember how he had got here, and he wanted to leave, and he really wanted a pack around him instead of these two angry people.

Isak didn’t see the swing because of the bright light shining into his eyes. He heard it, but too late. He yelped as the stick hit his side, hard. The pain made him angry and scared. He flashed his teeth at the men. That was a mistake. He got hit again, by both of them, and his legs gave in under him. He tried to bite at the sticks, to pull them out of the men’s hands, but he kept missing.

It hurt so much. He was so scared. He didn’t understand.

A growl echoed through the alley. It was deep, and loud, and powerful. Isak could smell him, and his ears perked up. It was Even. The men spun around and the shone the light at the other wolf, the large, muscular alpha, that was baring his teeth at them. Before they had time to react Even had jumped. He closed his jaws around the arm of the man on the left, and both men were screaming.

Isak didn’t hesitate. He ignored his pain and leapt. His paws hit the man on the right in the back and made him fall over. Even gave him a short, commanding bark, turned around and started running. Isak run with him, as fast as he could. He followed Even, zooming along the streets, staying in the shadows as much as possible.

Running on the streets hurt Isak’s paws. His ribs were aching, and his shoulders too, and he was still so, so scared. Even’s presence helped a lot with that. He was with his alpha now, and his alpha would protect him. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him. By the time they reached the woods Isak had almost forgotten the scent of the men who had attacked him. His senses were filled with Even. He was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Referring to the notes at the beginning: Isak is being attacked, in wolf form, by two men with hockey sticks.


	17. Chapter 17

Isak didn’t remember turning back. He didn’t remember coming here. But here he was, at Even’s place, naked in the bed and his head buzzing with omega hormones. He was lying in the middle of a pile of sheets, in a nest, without a strand of his hair peeking out. The air in the nest was hot and stuffed with his omega scent. He was feeling sick, and when he moved pain shot from his ribs.

He remembered. Not much. Two men. A bright light, which he now understood must have been a flashlight of a phone. Hockey sticks. The alpha coming for his rescue. Even.

“Holy fucking shit”, Isak whispered, his eyes wide. He struggled his head out of the nest. “Even?”

Isak heard a sound from the kitchen. Even was there. Isak could also smell him. His alpha scent. It made his stomach fill up with butterflies. That made him want to swallow some DDT. At least Even was in the kitchen, so Isak could come out of the nest and check his injuries.

Bruised ribs, and the bruises were almost faded by now. He was starving, thanks to all the healing he had been doing. But Even was in the kitchen, smelling like an alpha, and Isak’s instincts just wanted to curl up in his arms and be protected for a bit more.

Even appeared to the kitchen door. He looked upset. Isak sat up and looked at him.

“Are you okay?”

Even shook his head.

“I bit a guy last night. I can still taste his blood.”

Okay. Okay. Shit. This was bad. A werewolf had bitten a man. If that man raised a racket things could go real bad real fast. Even’s lips were shaking. Isak held out his arms, beckoning him to come. Even did. He came to bed and let Isak wrap his arms and his body around him, to protect him like an alpha would.

It felt so fucking good. Isak closed his eyes and buried his face in Even’s hair. He could fall in love with this man. He was just about to.

“Have you checked the news?” Isak asked. Even shook his head.

“I’m scared to.”

Isak nodded. It was scary. If they checked their phones and saw that a full out war had been started between people and werewolves. And it was their fault. The air was thick with their hormones, but the mood was weighing so much that nothing came out of it. Thankfully.

They lied there for fifteen minutes or so. Even was shaking, and Isak was doing his best to calm him down. To be honest he couldn’t tell if Even was really this upset, or if he was letting Isak take care of him. Either way Isak enjoyed it a lot. But if he wanted to be an alpha, he had to act like one. He kissed Even’s hair gently.

“I’ll go get my phone.”

“Mmh. Do you have to?”

“Yes. We need to know if we’re in danger.”

Even groaned. Isak kissed his hair again and let go of him, reluctantly. He needed to do this. He needed to take care of them. Isak searched around the bed first, but didn’t find his phone there. He had better luck in the kitchen. While he was in there he tore a pack of cheese open with his teeth and ate the whole piece with like three bites. He was famished.

Isak looked at his phone. He needed to check if Jonas had sent him messages anyway. He was just worried that. Well. His phone wouldn’t blow up in his hands simply from him unlocking the screen. He could do this. He looked at his image in the dark screen, nodded for encouragement and pressed his thumb on the reader.

There was nothing on human social media. But when Isak checked Howler, he saw a video pop up on his feed over and over again.

It hadn’t been a flashlight. It had been a spotlight. And it was shining on Isak. He saw himself on the thumbnail, and his heart was pounding so hard Even must have heard it to the bed.

“Are we at war?” Even asked from there. Isak walked to him, staring at his phone. He was scrolling like mad, and he was starting to get the general picture of the thing.

“No. No war. But we are in trouble for almost starting one.”

Even sat up and looked at him. He was so pretty, his hair a mess and his eyes wild and wide. Isak wanted that man so much right now, but they were busy with other stuff. Isak crawled to bed on his stomach to keep his hardening dick at bay or at least out of sight, and showed his screen to Even.

“It’s all over Howler, but nowhere else. They kept it in the family. Everyone’s fucking pissed, but they don’t seem to know who we are.”

“Have you watched the video?”

“Not yet. I want to watch it with you.”

“Hold me.”

Fuck. Okay. Isak rolled over on his side and pulled Even against his chest. He kept his hips a bit back. He wrapped his arm over Even, holding the phone so they could both see it, and started the video.

It was hard to see. He could now understand what the men were saying, and he could hear himself yelp at every hit. Then Even came. He looked so handsome, and strong, and menacing. So alpha. Isak looked so omega, whimpering and cowering, and it was so embarrassing. Isak hid his face on Even’s neck. That was a terrible move. Even cracked his lips and sighed, and the air was thicker again.

“What, danger turns you on?” Isak whispered. Right on Even’s skin. Fuck.

Even turned around and kissed him. Isak kissed him back. He grabbed Even from the waist and yanked his hips against his own. Even made a little  _ oh _ in Isak’s mouth as he felt how hard Isak was. Even was hard too. Isak could feel his alpha dick in all its glory. But that was all the alpha Even was now. He let Isak run things, to direct the kiss, and Even’s body. Isak turned them so Even was under him.

“I can’t think in this air”, Isak mumbled, biting at Even’s lips with his. “We need to clear it.”

“Take me, daddy”, Even whimpered. His words made Isak shake with lust. He kissed Even harder, and he wasn’t biting with only his lips anymore. He slipped his leg between Even’s, and pressed down with his thigh. Even was whimpering like an omega, and that was a real fucking turn-on.

A bell rang. Someone was at the door. Isak froze, as did Even, and they both listened. All Isak could hear was their hearts beating, and their blood rushing. Fuck.

“Are you expecting someone?” Isak whispered. Even shook his head. He looked almost frightened, and Isak knew what he had to do. He had to protect his. He kissed Even one more time and pushed himself out of the bed. He grabbed the first pair of pants he came across and went to answer the door.

It was a werewolf. He was an alpha, Isak could smell it. He was so high on his own hormones he was feeling the pull in his body. He really didn’t need this right now. Especially when the alpha was hot as hell. He had narrow, piercing eyes, perfect hair and a cocky half grin.

“You really want to let me in, sweetheart.”

Isak raised his brow.

“I’m sorry, who were you again?”

The alpha just pushed his way inside past Isak. Isak wanted to kick himself for letting that happen. His hormones had got the best of him at the wrong moment.

“William”, Even said from behind Isak. The submission was completely gone. Even was now all alpha, and Isak was almost drooling. Fuck.

“Morning, Even. Had a good night of running?”

“Fuck off. You’re not welcome here.”

William walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. He lifted his ankle on his knee, and his half grin was now a fully grown one. It was infuriating and sexy at the same time.

“I know it was you. Didn’t recognise that sweet lil’ thing.” William looked at Isak and licked his lips, slowly. Isak’s skin was crawling.

“You know shit.”

“I’ve heard you growl enough times, Ev. It was totally you. And if you want me to keep that to myself, you’re going to be a good dog and bring me something to drink.”

“I might have some drain cleaner left.”

William laughed. It sounded like barking.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: sexual harassment, unsolicited groping

William took the glass from Even. Isak noted him touching Even’s fingers on purpose, a lingering touch, which Even couldn’t escape without spilling the whole glass of water all over the bed. Isak raised his upper lip a bit, but William didn’t notice it.

“How have you been, Ev? It’s been a while.”

“My name is Even, and how I have been is none of your fucking business.”

Isak felt like taking cover. His omega biology was telling him to hide and let his alpha defend his home. But Even needed him. Isak could tell he was struggling. For whatever reason, this William was getting under Even’s skin.

“Oh, don’t be like that. We all miss you. The Penetrators haven’t been the same since you left us.”

“The Penetrators?” Isak regretted asking immediately, but it was too late. William had turned to look at him, slowly from head to toe, mockingly.

“It speaks when alphas are talking? You have always liked them sassy.”

Isak blushed. He hated himself for doing that. He raised his chin.

“Them?”

William chuckled.

“His omegas. Some wolves say he’s not a proper alpha, with the way he treats them, but to each their own, I say.”

Isak’s lips formed a tight line.

“I’m not an omega.”

That was a sudden moment of empowerment. It felt like a high, or a rush. Isak was telling his darkest, deepest secret just like that, to an arrogant bastard of an alpha who spelled trouble in neon letters. Isak hated his guts, and he was not about to be belittled by him.

William placed his glass on the floor and stood up from the bed slowly. He approached Isak with all his alpha, and Isak’s body really, really wanted to portray submission. Had he been in wolf form, it would have. William walked to him and circled him, sniffing at him, way too close. Isak had to use all his strength to just hold still. He couldn’t move away, because any movement would have broken his focus.

“You smell like an omega.”

William was standing behind Isak. Isak could feel his breathing on his bare shoulder blade. William reached around Isak and grabbed his groin.

“And you have an omega dick.”

“That’s enough!” Even barked. He was suddenly there, in front of Isak, pressing his fingernails on William’s wrist. While Isak was grateful for Even intervening, he was also miserable because of his own inability to stand up for himself. He had just shut down, letting that fucker touch him like this.

“Oh? Someone’s being possessive. Have you really forgotten about the Penetrator ways?” William didn’t let go of Isak. Isak could smell the blood trickling from his wrist, but he was still holding on. “Sharing is caring. What’s yours, is also the pack’s.”

Even bared his teeth. It was not a smile.

“I’m not in the pack anymore, and Isak is not yours. Let go.”

Isak was feeling sick to his stomach. He was shaking. His legs had turned into lead, and he couldn’t move. He was an omega, fought over by two alphas, and this was turning into one of the worst moments in his life, fast.

Not as bad as last night had been. Yet.

William didn’t let go of him. Instead he pulled Isak’s hips closer to his, and Isak could feel this turned William on. He looked at Even, lost and horrified. He needed help. Even pressed his blood tipped nails onto William’s neck this time.

“Let. Him. Go.” Even was more growling that speaking. Isak could almost feel his chest vibrate without actually touching it. He was so fucking jealous. He couldn’t growl like that. Not that deep.

“Tut tut tut”, William said, calmly. Still holding on to Isak. “You let go, or you will have to kill me and then figure out how to get rid of my body.”

Even looked at William. Then he looked at Isak. Isak nodded, barely, trying to look braver than he was feeling right now. Even pulled back, slowly.

“Now, where was I? Oh, yes.” William licked on Isak’s cheek. Isak closed his eyes. If he only was a normal omega, then this wouldn’t have been a problem at all. The omega in him was rather enjoying this, being fought over by two hot alphas.

“Please”, Isak said quietly. “Let go of me.”

To Isak’s surprise, William did. He let go, and the second he did Isak dashed over the bed to the other side, grouching a bit. He had to fight himself to not hide under the bed.

“Here’s the deal, Ev.” William turned to look at Even, his eyes narrow. He licked the dried up blood off his wrist. The cuts had already been healed. “I will keep my mouth shut if you give me what I want.”

Even gave Isak a nervous look. Isak nodded again. He understood the gravity of the situation.

“What do you want?”

William smiled. His smile was sweet as sugar.

“I had something else in mind when I came, but I didn’t know about that delicious thing you have in here.” William nodded at Isak with his head. “I want to knot in that. While you watch.”

Even jumped so fast Isak didn’t see him move before William landed on the floor on his back. Even was growling again, and Isak’s heart was pounding. He didn’t want this, but this was still good, and he was happy and devastated at the same time. He hopped on the bed, on his hands and feet, to see what was going on.

William was laughing. He raised his hand on Even’s cheek and gave it a stroke with the back of his fingers. Even flashed his teeth at him.

“Ev, Ev, Ev. Your temper hasn’t changed one bit. Are you sure he is worth losing your life over?”

“He isn’t mine to hand over to you”, Even barked. He shoved William’s shoulders on the floor one more time, then pushed himself up on his feet. “If you want something with him, you have to ask him.”

Isak clenched the sheets in his fist.

“Nobody is going to knot in me because I’m not a fucking omega.”

William sat up slowly. He was looking at Isak with great interest.

“I have never in my life heard an omega decline a willing alpha. Especially smelling like that.”

Isak bit the inside of his lip. Fucking hormones. He hadn’t even taken his blockers today.

“I don’t give a fuck about what I smell like.”

“I can tell.” William was silent for a moment. Then he turned to look at Even. “Well, then. I did have a plan coming in here, might as well get back to that.”

Even glared at him from under his brow.

“For the last fucking time. What. Do. You. Want?”

“I want to get in touch with Sonja.”

Isak didn’t know who Sonja was. But he could tell it was someone important to Even. Even shook his head, stepping back.

“Fuck no.”

“She won’t speak to me, or respond to my attempts to reach her. I’m sure she would listen to you, considering.”

“I said no.” Even’s voice almost cracked. This was something big and painful. Even looked so lost and hurt. “I’m sure she has good reason to not talk to you. I know how you are.”

William tilted his head, amused.

“I’m the person who can destroy your life with a single phone call. And you can stop me by doing the same. One call. Get her to meet me. That’s all there is to it.”

Even started pacing back and forth between the kitchen and the bed. Isak took a deep breath. If he wanted to become the alpha of this relationship - partnership - he had to act like one. He had to take care of his partner. He had to look after Even at the cost of his own well-being if it got to that. Now it had.

“Fine”, Isak said. William and Even both turned to look at him. “I’ll let you knot in me. But he won’t be watching.”

Even looked at him. Isak looked back, trying to look brave again. He could do this. It was just one fuck, nothing to it. His body could take it, and then it would be over, and this bastard would be gone for good. He could do this. He could take care of Even. Save him, like Even had saved him.

“Yeah, that will be a no”, William said. Isak blinked, confused, and turned to face him.

“What?”

“Sorry, sweet cheeks. You are hot as hell itself, but I really need to reach Sonja.”

Isak blushed, mostly with anger. Today just really wasn’t his day, now was it?

“Even said no.”

William was holding back his laughter, poorly.

“Seriously, Ev? What is this thing? Is your omega speaking for you?”

Isak flashed his teeth at William.

“I’m not his omega!”

William shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, bitch. Speaking of bitches. Ev, get Sonja to call me by tomorrow night or I will blow the lid off this thing.”

With that, William got up on his feet and backed away to the front door. Even was growling, but so quietly it was likely only Isak could hear him. He was wise to do so. They needed to get William out of here so they could talk, and figure out what to do.

“I mean it. By tomorrow night. You have my number.”

William left. As soon as the door closed Isak collapsed on the bed. His body was completely drained. His brain was too. The air was still full of hormones, and now there was two alpha’s scent to boot. He should probably go home but he was too exhausted to.

Isak looked at Even. Even seemed really upset. He was pacing back and forth again. Isak pushed himself over on his back and spread his arms.

“Come here.”

Even did. He crawled into bed and curled up against Isak. Isak wrapped his arms and leg around him.

“Now we will both calm down. Then we will eat something, and then we will talk. Okay?”

Even sighed.

“Okay.”


End file.
